Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Thanks! That helped my day a little. (It IS Monday!)
A free upload from the net.
Must run ‘ morrow. :)
At the time I was up late. And it got later. The printing project I mentioned - well...
She wants 150 copies. Somewhere around copy 80 I ran out of toner in the cartridge in the printer. I did the usual yank the cartridge, rotate it back and forth a bit, shoved it back in and managed to get another 10 copies before it no longer responded to having the toner redistributed. That was no problem thought I, I’ll just open this other box, knife open the protective plastic bag, yank out all the tabs & the plastic ribbons, remove the tape, discard the black piece of paper and the protective plastic endcap, and insert the device into the printer and away we go..
Except that we didn’t.. Without printing a ‘test’ copy with the new toner cartridge, I launched another ten copies of the project over the gray length of CAT5E addressed specifically to be delivered to the proper printing contraption. The printing device responded with all the proper noises and started ejecting copies of the newsletter but I didn’t wander over to the printer for a visual. After the printing device had produced five copies (thus 15 sheets of 28# paper) I finally took a looksee and immediately noted there was a problem. Every page both front and back had a succession of black blobs followed by a bare spot along the right side of the page, so it was blob, spot, blob, spot, blob, spot for 11 inches.. Needless to say I hastened to the computing device and cancelled the print job (which action from determining that there was an issue to returning to the computer to calling up the control screen to cancelling the job to printer obeying the command produced another two complete and one partial copy - another 8 sheets of paper to the recycle can - which looks suspiciously like a paper-in-pastic ShopRite bag.)
Thinking that I could remedy the blob spot blob issue by running the printer’s cleaning process I launched same and received the resultant page also displaying teh right hand side blob spot blob. After three attempts, none of which indicated that the problem was going away, I called it quits for the night.
Now I have two projects 1) finish the print project (I liberated the toner from the other identical printer and it is OK) and 2) call customer service and indicate my displeasure at having received a defective product.
The other project for the day is a visit to the DMV to register Wife’s driving machine..
And so the day goes.
Hmmm....
I need to check that out. Thanks, Moosie!
Dang, NoC...and I thought I was the one with computer problems! LOL!
Still, it IS Monday... :o|
I do recommend C-Cleaner.
And how do I find C-Cleaner? Dot com?
Good story, GeronL. Wishing you well!
C-Cleaner is a program. I mostly use it to clean up the gunk that gets in the Registry when you install and uninstall things.
However, it also has modes to free up space on the hard drive and look for problems in some of your apps.
It’s free and worth the time to download and maintain.
https://www.piriform.com/ccleaner/download
Haz Funz.
Did you ever think how different Stevie Wonder’s career might have been if he’d been sighted but had a lisp?
Very Thuperthititious
Thir Duke
Etc.
Suddenly I’m remembering Thampthon the Thyrian Thrangler.
Now THAT was humor.
An the beat goes on
An the beat goes on
The drum keeps pounding rhythims to the brain
Speaking of which, just how did Sonny get Cher anyway?
I used to use the defragging app that would sort everything and free up space.
So I will go to that site and see if it will help.
Thanks!
Afternoon, all y’all, or tomorrow, or whatever it is in England.
I got Anoreth’s present mailed, only about 15 minutes in the P.O. line. The Chinese grocery store had some nice, usual vegetables. I’ll have to look up recipes!
Our Christmas faux tree is up but needs more time straightening the branches before we decorate it. Maybe tomorrow evening. Shannon is offended by it.
I’m glad you got Anoreth’s present mailed. Kids who are away from home need to have presents!
Once I get these ulcers under control again, I will start looking at good recipes... I like Chinese food!
Shannon is offended by a lot of things! LOL!
When you’re as superior as Shannon, every day is a struggle. I also renewed Anoreth’s AAA membership.
I see the defragging is part of the paid program, and I think I need to try and get it. Dang. All I want for Christmas is another paycheck that is the same amount as what I have.
*sigh*
Mine!
I don’t think I’ll ever be without AAA until I can no longer drive. Living alone and all that, roadside emergencies are pretty scary.
And since my son is in AR and my daughter may have a divorce in her future, mechanics are at a premium.
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