Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
But Mammy was a force to be reckoned with, while she ruled Dogpatch!
And I always thought it would be nice for the folks to Dogpatch to meet up with the folks in Pogo’s Swamp...Okeefenokie? What a party that would have been!
And just think.. There are people who have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Nor will they understand what follows. ;-)
Of course, Al Capp would be banned from most papers today because he was not necessarily politically correct. After all, he gave S.W.I.N.E. (Students Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything!) a spot in his strip. All Capp is gone, but S.W.I.N.E. is still with us on campii everywhere (parading under various other names.)
Remember Capp next time you are sippin’ some Kickapoo Joy Juice ;-)
“Ah has spoken!”
All I found was this: P-51D Mustang Moonbeam McSwine
You can’t even talk about S.W.I.N.E. or swine or pigs or bacon or Piglet. It’s offensive to Moslems.
George Bernard Shaw --
THEODOTUS: Caesar: you are a stranger here, and not conversant with our laws.
The kings and queens of Egypt may not marry except with their own royal blood.
Ptolemy and Cleopatra are born king and consort just as they are born brother and sister.
BRITANNUS (shocked): Caesar: this is not proper.
THEODOTUS (outraged): How!
CAESAR (recovering his self-possession): Pardon him, Theodotus: he is a barbarian,
and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Sure hope it was not all those sixes, what done it.
:D
Better Ceiling Cat than my mother ...
The rest of us find the traditional Mudslime greeting of detonating a suicide vest each time they meet rather offensive as well.
Three Cheers for the Pig!
No idea what happened to Tuesday, it just vanished into the ether.
Morning. We had the carpets cleaned yesterday, so everything was all wet. Also, it was raining. By this afternoon we should be able to move all the furniture back onto the carpet.
I’ve already been to Walmart: good selection of clearance meats and pastry that would have been gone by afternoon. I got huge chocolate cakes for the homeless shelter, $2.97 each (60% off).
Elen said, “You bought post-date cakes for the homeless?!?”
“Well, that’s what I buy for us!”
“Ah has SPOKE!” Yessir. Mammy was pretty cool, and it would seem that Pappy was an afterthought. And who can forget Marryin’ Sam and Injun Joe?
Makes me wish I could have saved all those comic strips. It seems there is a large book of the comic strip, but I’m sure the cost is prohibitive.
There have been times I have mentioned I wanted some “Kickapoo Joy Juice” and folks looked at me like I said a dirty word. Hahahahaha!
If the Muslims get offended over porcine things, maybe they should go back where they came from. I will proudly eat bacon while reading the Quran... ;o]
LOL!!!
Clever pic! And even cleverer comment on it! ;o]
I’m glad it’s Wednesday, so I can get the inspection over with.
I still have to vacuum the rug, but that’s easy compared to getting up off my knees when I finished cleaning the fridge, yesterday! LOL!
Afternoon, Moosie!
What? You posted a tripod? Hmpf.
*whew*
The rug is vacuumed and the floors have been half-mopped because one of the jets broke off somewhere inside, so no cleaning fluid is coming through. That means I need to get another Wet-Jet, and that can’t happen today, until after the inspection.
*GAH!*
Good day Face!
You cleaned the fridge.....
So, umm, did you make any scientific discoveries in the back of the fridge?
Have just been out to look at a new Laptop, my old Dell is about to retire.
Do you get the boxes of broken biscuits? Used to love them, lots of posh biscuits in the box of types that you never normally saw, but damaged.
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