Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Mistake.....
Uh, huh.
3’ nothing V a member of the Plod.....
Copper never stood a chance.
It’s twoo
I haz it on good aufority.
:)
:o])
You mean Microsoft has a #hashtag for that?
Does it pass the sniff test?
The boys will tell me about it every time they walk by ...
And the great thing is that there's no wrong answer!
;-)
Ohmy. I thought, when my son left home, that I had heard (?) the last of stinky feet and farts, but it is not to be...*sigh*
It has the right kind of title.
It stands alone.....for more than one reason. :)
:D
My Favourite is #Poweroff
Males and their bodily functions ...
I’m feeling like one of those support phonedesk guys who has to endure phonecalls from someone who should never have a piece of technology more complex than a manual eggbeater in their hand.. You would think after almost a half-century of being married the communication skills would be - improved, but I guess that doesn’t include tech stuff.
Mrs. NoC comes into my fortress of solitude carrying her tabletdevice, dumps it on a slightly less cluttered area on the desk and says “They use this to watch movies and now they say it doesn’t work.” And walks out.
Now, I understood the ‘they’ part because the grandchillens had just left. Beyond that I was given insufficient info to do any effective troubleshooting. You know, minor details like, ferinstance, what app were ‘they’ using? Did this just happen today and was working yesterday (grandchillens have been here since Friday evening - strange that if there was a problem noted earlier why is it just now getting dumped in my lap?) Are you logged in? ;-) And other similar small but meaningful tidbits of information.
All I discovered was that ‘they’ forgot to turn it off and it was on hibernate. So until I get more input, it is sitting here on the charger after I told it to #Poweroff. ;-)
I figure about the time we get another phone call that ‘they’ are on the way and are staying the weekend again (which could be as soon as this coming Friday, or not) Mrs. NoC will remember that the tabletdevice is in my safespace and demand its return. Fixed.
Which of course it won’t be.. ;-)
So in the meantime, I’m sitting here nibbling on the carcass of a white chocolate bunny.
Teknolijies doesn’t necessarily make our lives better, but chocolate does.
I’m going to have some chocolate and retire to the boudoir. The Conference is over for six more months, and it was, as usual, pretty doggone good. The few talks I missed due to the computer buffering, I will be able to read in the magazine next month. YAY!
So I will see all y’all tomorrow! :o])
..and white chocolate is NOT racist.
(The granchillen got their choice of chocolate chocolate or chocolate-peanutbutter bunny carcases. A little sugar and stimulant to help on the ride home..)
Glad you enjoyed your conference. I like a vigorous religious lecture myself. Hope you have a good night!
I hope none of them threw up.
Technology now includes the making of 3-d chocolate sculptures. Edible sculptures, that is.
I feel safe in predicting that those soda-vending devices now in fast-food restaurants will have a companion piece in a few years.
Not only will you be able to get your coke, but you’ll also be able to have fries with it, and likely a burger too.
6200
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