Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
LoL.
:D
Morning TC.
Have the lettuce survived?
They looked okay yesterday, but it’s cold again this morning. I didn’t go out to pick yesterday, but I’ll bundle up and get some for the dragons in a while.
Update: looks like they’re all frosted out, but I might get a surprise later if things warm up quickly. Currently 27F.
*groan*
You guys are so funny!!!
But, seriesly, Nully — what kind of ammo DID she have?
Fingers crossed.
Would be a shame to loose them before Christmas.
That’s the kind of ornament I want!
It’s 46 this morning, but “feels like” 43. That’s a lot warmer than it has been, but we are expecting a low of 27 on Christmas Eve.
I’m glad I’m not delivering any packages that night... ;o]
I got out of bed just about the time you went out to check the lettuce. Wow. Great minds!
(No wonder it feels colder: S @ 11 mph. Nope not going out. Nosiree!.)
That’s the kind of ornament that explains why our tree isn’t up again, and why I’m staunchly resisting every suggestion that it go up a minute sooner than absolutely necessary. Also, a three-year-old ...
We have sun, but it’s pretty cold, being, after all, late December.
I can write this up. Turns out she didn't have any actual ammo to trade, just some ancillary but useful equipment.
Hand-warmers, Meals-ready-to-eat, that sort of stuff.
.
You people with the imaginations -- oh, behave!
“...You people with the imaginations — oh, behave!”
You’re the one that’s drawing all the dirty pictures!!
YAY! It’s getting light outside! And I’m hoping it’s going to be clear again today, but the weather prognosticator keeps talking about rain in the valley. That doesn’t mean we’ll see any here, but it will rain SOMEwhere in the valley!
We have rain forecast later in the week, but I hope it won’t happen.
Plenty of time to clean this morning before choir practice at 2:15. DP wants to put the Christmas tree up today, but I’m resisting: Cats, baby ...
Ohyes...katz and kids. Not a good combination for having a Christmas tree. Especially one that is untouched by both.
I want to go back to bed. I don’t understand why I’m so sleepy lately. Maybe it’s the cold thing that comes and goes. My nose is all stuffed up and I feel like I want a big hug.
Haha. As if that’s going to happen!
In the meantime, I will go have a breathing treatment.
There it is.
On the Horizon.
Not far away.
Onward to 600!!!!
Sounds like you want that, Moosie...;o]
I’ll flip ya for it!
Heads or tails?
??
Heads!
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