Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Even my script signature is nothing but loops.
Your fingerprints include whorls.
And my fingernails have lunulae, my throat has a dependent uvula, my upper lip a filtrum, and so forth. It's all part of a very comprehensive disguise.
So far, no one suspects a thing.
I thought it was a philtrum.
Depends on whether you have a mustache or not.
There is a madness that grips us every four years. This year, it could be terminal. I’m in vigil for FR, my sick friend...
I consider it an exercise opportunity for discerning those things that we may with courage change, from the things that we must with patience bear.
It's kinda like being married.
"There is a madness that grips us every four years."
We who are into mathematical intrigues and mysteries have deduced how you manage to while away your self-imposed quietude during the presidential election silly seasons.
Should be rather obvious... However, I have removed myself from the gene pool. No further issuance from this quarter...
Thanks for the thanks!
James is 12. He doesn’t care about mascara.
Weird. This weekend’s weather is 60 both days.
It’s almost time to take my winter comforter to the cleaners and put on a summer/spring light one.
Sleepy kitties! Yay!
Here is a lovely story ( I figured we could use one) about a girl in a wheelchair and her service dog.
http://cheezburger.com/8762214144/service-dog-wears-matching-prom-dress
I hope it makes you all feel happy as it did me.
Morning early Birds.
Have wondered up the M40 to the heritage Motor museum.
The weather was wet so a fine excuse to look at some old cars. :)
I love old cars. They had character, they weren’t like the cookie cutter cars made today,
I remember you could pick the outside color and the inside color.
My parents have pictures of themselves with cars with fins, and large white wall tires. I love those photos from the 50s and 60s.
I have a 1983 Mazda RX-7 collecting dust in the garage.
That is a sweet car. I owned a 90 Mazda Protege which was a great car until some idiot totaled it.
I drive a 07 Honda
Civic. I plan on keeping it until I die. It only had 15,000 miles on it.
Don't do it yet, please. We don't need to be jinxed when things are starting to look up.
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