Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Thanks Ladies...
Haven’t been around much. I miss my FRiends, but this place has gotten toxic on a level I have never seen before.
It makes me sad. Other things make me happy...
Not gonna opus, but I’m staying out of the fire until after this primary bs is over.
I can agree with that..
Smart choice, DC.
Exactly why I stay on the UT. The rest of the place is rabid.
And we miss you, too!
At first, I thought there were three. Then I saw that cute little face hiding in the background!
SQUEE!!!
And another pair of ears on the far right. There are at least five cats there.
Good morning. Off to a slow start here! I’m feeling kind of weak and shaky, and several things hurt.
I think my Nook has died for the last time, and that makes me sad. I can’t replace it. :o[
I use it at night to play Solitaire and relax before I sleep (that may sound odd, but it works for me) and looking forward to bedtime without it is not pleasant for me. It means I will have time to think, and I don’t want that. My mind goes in too many places that are unhealthy for me, and THAT is detrimental as all getout.
It makes me confused and disoriented and weak. And I need to reverse all of those things.
Research the cost and availability of a replacement or similar item. I know zilch about beeber-like devices!
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho.
I start work as soon as I get out of bed.
Good Monday morning, all.
Sorry about illnesses in peoples and techs and all.
*tagline*
Oh, fluffy! I’m so sorry you’re not feeling up to par today. I hate those weak and shaky things, and the hurty things make it all ten times worse.
I just noticed the ears on the right as I went back for a third helping.
Spiritually, at this moment, I’m in a really good place. The rest of me is rather “meh”
But the rest will pass, so I’m OK. Good morning to you. How was your Easter Sunday?
*punctuation check*
It was OK. We actually started Saturday night with our weekly Bible study with our daughter and dinner and some singing. Then I went with the daughter to her church (with a bunch of kids, which includes the Pastor) and that was fun.
Your Easter sounds like it was very nice. I came from a large family, and some holidays, at some times, are harder for me to get through than others. Easter is one of those times. So I’m always happy when others have good family experiences.
I missed the blessing of a baby because I was too sick during the night and the rest of the morning to even try to get to church. That made me sad.
But! I’m looking forward to the Annual General Conference next weekend, as I can watch it on the computer, and don’t have to go to the chapel for the live feed. It seems all the talks are things I need to hear... ;o])
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