Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
“Where is everybody?”
You ask ME that, when you know, that at 8:54:44 PM I am in the middle of my night, sawing logs? How silly of you!
LOL! But you DID get the 5555, so there is that. ;o]
That’s how I feel most mornings, just about this time.
I forgot to get instant breakfast when I went to the store, so after my shower (when the bathroom is warmer!) I will head for Wally’s and get some.
Wow. March is almost over with, already. I just realized yesterday that I have an appointment at the pain clinic on the 30th. That is before payday, and I’m not sure I will have the gas by then, but we shall see. I HAVE to go so I can get a new prescription for morphine. And the place has moved a mile west from where it was and a mile north.
It has just gotten so many new clients, that there wasn’t enough parking where it was.
And don’t forget, Moosie: this is Friday Eve!
Every day is Monday, except Friday.
I’ll make sure you can get gas.
Now I’m off to sort some papers.
“...Everyday is Monday, except FRiday.”
Yes, in general. However there is a lot more hope on Thursday.
The bright lights of Saturday are visible on the Horizon. :)
I just had my shower, and think I’m brave enough to head out.
At least the wind is at a more civilized 2 mph from the south, with a temp of 57.
I don’t know what’s on the docket for today, but I’m doing better this week than I thought I would after last week’s cleaning efforts. Of course, the fatigue may surprise me in another day or two, and my breathing still isn’t what it should be, but I’m working on it!
Californian Redwoods?
Do they cut easily into planks?
Bristle Cone pines are tempting,but carry some risk.
What a temptation for a Chainsaw enthusiast.
(”Ere,Dave, Guess what I cut down yesterday?”)
(”You didn’t?.”)
(”Yep, bagged it. “)
I’m glad you’re hanging in there! I just ordered some new school books for the boys. James is almost done his current year math.
Happy Purim kitties!
Brb need coffee!
That’s the look I’ve had for the last three weeks.
It’s good to see you, even if you have that vacant cat look! You have been missed!
Happy Purim!
Probably the only nice thing about NYC is the alternate forms of transportation that are actually practical.
I especially like the catapult they put on the roof to get us to the Brooklyn office quicker.
As Tom Lehrer used to say”
If you visit American city
You will find it very pretty.
Just two things of which you must beware:
Don’t drink the water and don’t breathe the air.
Reminds me of an old story.
Mr. Jones had an old tree in his backyard and wanted to know how old it was. So he hired 3 tree experts to render an opinion
The first one told him, “I’d estimate that tree is over 300 years old.”
The second one reported, “MY estimate is that tree is over 500 years old.”
The third one said, “No, the tree is exactly 297 years old.”
Amazed at this answer, Mr. Jones asked, “How did you come up with such a precise number?”
“Easy. I cut down the tree and counted the rings.”
Maybe I should watch “One Night With the King” again tonight.
It’s a little less boring than having someone read the book of Esther, even if you do get to hiss when they say “Haman.”
Hisssssssssssssss.
Did Tom Lehrer write “poisoning pigeons in the park?”
Hissssssssssssss
I bet you could get some nice hamentashen at a bakery today. Road trip to Carnegie Deli or Katz’s !
That he did, although the above was from “Pollution.”
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