Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
She’s just showing that level of appreciation that only a toddler can convey.
Next year will be better.
Hopefully.
LOL!
And you did!
:D
Well, the freezecrisis is past, for now. (We’ve had those pesky ice storms in May..) It’s 54 degree things now and supposedly only dropping to 43 on the overnight so the greenthings can relax.
I really need to ‘water’ them with a foulsmelling concoction of putrescent egg solids and garlic. (AKA Liquid Fence) The bambis like tulips, and most of them are now showing above ground.. They don’t bother the daffodils - guess they don’t like atropine.
Keep telling you Darks won’t touch my coffee. He’s just got everyone convinced his is, um, deadlier.. ;-)
: )
These small successes are not to be undervalued.
Oh, MY!!
How beautiful!
Hug yer mum for me! <3
And you DID!
I misread that. I thought you said you needed a map to read that post.
I was going to recommend one of The Family Circus panels, showing Jeffy searching for something in the next room, but traversing the entire neighborhood to do it.
LoL,
Quality Misreads are always worth sharing. :)
I am not producing a book of nothing but typos unless I can collaborate with Darksheare to do it.
My favorite typo is a left-handed one. Quite frequently, when typing the word “secretary”, my left hand seems to think it should be spelled “secretart”.
So. I notice you didn’t include the Imperial Secretary in that. I suspect you may have forgotten her original purpose.
And I suspect I am going to go to bed rather soon, since tomorrow is another day, and this one seems to be almost at the end.
I was treated to a couple of long conversations with an old friend of mine today, on Facebook, and I’m hoping I can talk to him again, soon.
I have a sinus headache, and I’m hoping that it’s not a forerunner of things to come. The wind is making me crazy.
And tomorrow is Hump Day! So what can I do to improve that, if anything? A nice bowl of chicken fried rice would be a good thing, for sure!
And I’m off, for now!
The Imperial Secretary is to be respected in all communications and references. No exceptions.
Sadly, inspiration has been lacking on my end for quite some time.
:-(
I just haven’t been able to move anything forward character wise/story wise.
I should give you something that has been languishing, and let you take it in an entirely different direction.
I feel like Moses surveying the Promised Land, but at this point I need an Aaron.
“Surveilling”?
Serve viling.
To present something hideous on a plate.
I’ve seen that on cooking shows.
They put some little garnish with a bit of chocolate on it.
A hungry man might be tempted to rip their arm out of its socket to eat, if there were any meat on it.
Gets rave five star reviews from the critics though.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.