Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Too much volume in Beer....
Have you tried something a little less fizzy? Perhaps a nice Ale?
(That’s the rest of the Undeadthread diving for cover..... :-) )
Sipped slowly over the course of an hour, per pint.
“Rutgers fraternity toga party.”
A Romans’ feast scene staring Frankie Howard came to mind.
There is nothing like a cold beer on a hot summer’s day. :)
I like beer because it isn’t sweet (I have never liked sweet drinks of any kind) and these days, the icy bubbles make my almost constant sore throat feel better. CFIDS has done that. And until I discovered colloidial silver, the beer quelled the almost constant nausea.
That being said, I have developed a taste for it that I may not ordinarily have had, under different circumstances. So I drink it, especially since there are still days when it keeps me from hiding out in the bathroom.
Yes. THAT is true!!!
I should visit the UK. :)
:)
That would work but they were copying the late John Belushi from “Animal House”
Periodically over the years that I have been sober I ponder if there was anything I actually liked for the taste rather than the alcohol content. It's a rather short list..
Dark beers
Tequila (reposado and añejo)
Champagne
A good Manhattan - no bitters (most bartenders left the bitters out anyway)
And having listed these, about the only item on that list I might actually go out and buy someday is a six pack of Bock or Guinness or some other dark beer/ale..
And I still haven’t found out if our local artisan brewery makes a dark brew..
I love champagne.
If you do, rent a Car or Camper Van and exit London via the nearest Motorway. Once clear of the M25 orbital carpark, the real country starts.
Loads of people from all over the world enjoy motoring vacations here.
Don’t be deceived by the apparent small size on a map, that is only an illusion. :)
Thanks, moose. :)
NicknamedBob will pretend you’re sober, too. It’s one of his several good qualities.
As do I. My favorite is Friexinet as it seems to be fairly consistent. Never disappointing.
That’s good to know should I ever need that reassurance again.. ;-)
“I’m not drunk. I’m just practicing ‘reasoning’ like a Democrat.”
I’ve never had champagne.
I did see cheeseburger posted a baby giraffe photo a few hours ago.
http://cheezburger.com/8596083968
Awwwwww. Did you know that each giraffe has a unique pattern? Like fingerprints.
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