Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Just like every other time ...
Morning, all.
The company arrived about 2200 last night, and ate a little of the corned beef and cabbage, we talked a bit and he went to bed. He is still in there! Bless his tired little heart!
It is good to see him again!
I don’t know what the plans are for today, as I’m just so much baggage this trip; most of the plans have been made by others, and I’m just going along for the ride!
Strange kitteh...
It’s going to be 83 today, so I may have to put the space heater up and drag out the fans. Not for me, of course, but for my Neighbor From the North. ;o]
Yes. Yes, it’s definitely coffee time, not talky time. Although the bedroom door is closed, I’m afraid the smell of coffee may wake my friend up.
I need to go comb my hair. I left it down after my shower, yesterday, as I do once in a while, but it can only be down a day or two before I have to put it in a pony tail. One of the peeps asked if “that is natural?” and I said yes, explaining that it has probably been curly all my life, but I either always had it permed or had it up on rollers for “curls.” And here I had them all along...
Hi everybody,
I have been missing all of you so much.
Personal and family issues are quieter now, and a lot of the pain I’ve had is a bit more tolerable. Maybe I’m getting use to it.
I just keep thinking it’s hellacious and I’m tired but the goal is to have a kitteh again, so I must persevere.
I wish I didn’t have such pain to affect my mobility. I would love to work on Election Day and primary day.
Well, I got to catch up on threads. Happy Caturday to all.
May you be blessed with such joy in your life that all of your pains are distant memories.
*hug*
It’s so good to have you back with us! You have been missed, but we understand that some things come before geeking.
May your future be filled with kittehs!
good morning ladies
I would like that!! Hip surgery after Election Day. They wanted it a week before, but I want to physically vote and not absentee ballot.
I haven’t been this excited about an election since my first presidential one!
Morning, Covenantor! #5262 was a funny post, though I didn’t understand what Rostzweibeln was. Twice cooked onion, maybe?
My German is pretty rusty!
Yay! I’m a geek!
I would have loved being called that back in HS.
How are you Ms. Face?
Good Morning!
It’s Caturday! And the sun is out.
In my book it’s winner, winner chicken dinner!
.
.
sauerkraut, nicht sauerktaut.
“He who has not kept the Allen Wrench from previous IKEA project is doomed the failure.”
Ancient Scandinavian Proverb. (Possibly)
Morning All,
Must go .....
Have a good day!
I hope your visitors and you have very much fun!
Indeed. A butter knife is sometimes useful for slot head screws, not so much for hex socket connectors.
ps. Mongol No.2 pencils, while hexagonal, do not work!
Missed you too Gefn!
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