Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Second Monday of the week.
Confirmed.
Thanks. I needed that. Now I have to go have a breathing treatment! Stress!!! NOT! ;o]
Oh my. It IS the Eyes of Marge today, isn’t it?
Being the Eyes of Marge, it would also have been the 40th anniversary of the late, not-so-great Igor. Wow. I didn’t even like him that long...
:o|
I found some white chocolate-raspberry creamer this morning, and just made a cuppa with that in it. oh. my. goodness. I need to go buy another in case it’s just a trial thingy.
And yesterday, when we did the maths, was PI day.
I’m glad it’s going okay.
That reminds me, I was going to let the boys celebrate the Ides of March with some armed carnage.
Pi Day was all over FB, so I wasn’t able to ignore it.
Well, let the games BEGIN!!!!
:o])
I atted some Pi.
LOL!
Afternoon, Face.
This dang Cold is now well into its Second week.
So the Eye’s of Marge are aching a bit.
Apparently this is a “Three Weeker” ,Some foreign Sh1t brought in by an undocumented Rubberugeee no doubt.
Colds changed in the nineties from a annoyance to Painful. About the time they started importing in bulk.
My uncle the M.D. told me a cold lasts 7-10 days. If it’s been lasting longer than that it’s something else.
In my case, it was allergies.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
I hope you feel better soon, Moosie. (XOXO)
America is suffering its own results of illegals, with a resurgence of measles, TB and other diseases that no one is familiar with in this country. And the taxpayers are footing the bills.
How’d you ,ArGee.
Most of the Town has got it. So whatever it officially is ,have no idea.
Colds have really mutated in the last 20 years, they hurt more and just won’t leave.
(((Hugs))) ,Through the viral protection of 5000 miles of fibre optic cable. :)
I think we’re protecting ourselves too much.
Over here in the U.S. every food store has sanitizing wipes so you don’t have to touch the germs left behind on the shopping cart handle. There are bacteria-killing foam dispensers everywhere. Everyone walks out of a restroom squirting that smelly goop on their hands to disinfect.
As a result of disuse, our immune systems are getting weak.
I would hug you anyway, Moosie, because my immune system is “up-regulated,” which means it is working overtime to fight diseases. It just has no defense against itself!
Very likely,it can’t help.
There must be a fine line between sensible precautions and damaging paranoia....Germaphobia.
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