Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Carbon Dioxide..
(They pump it is to keep things, um, inflated.. Takes a while for it to escape. ;-)
That’s odd.
My finger has finally stopped bleeding, but I will change the dressing again before bedtime.
I just made some changes to my will, since Lablady is no longer married to Mr. Lablady, but the rest of the changes were grammar and punctuation. My bad. Now I need to find a Notary who will sign and seal it. My last will was signed in 2007, so there were a lot of changes.
I had salad for lunch and that’s all. Rice pudding was my morning and afternoon snacks. I gotta lose some weight. I can’t seem to get off the figure I have been stuck on for nine months. THAT’s irritating!
The neighbor came over and got the DVD player in the bedroom to work, but couldn’t get the one out here going. He would have stayed and got it to work if I had wanted, but he was here an hour, and all I had was $15 to give him. (Besides, he smokes and has BO and I couldn’t handle the odors any longer.)
I will have to get that much again to him if he fixes the one out here. I REALLY miss the days when I could do all that stuff myself. My brain doesn’t function well in that area any more, thanks to CFIDS.
WHOA! How interesting! :o])
Well, one player is better than none.
I guess I hadn’t noticed that Smart Cars were not front wheel drive.
There is a Smart Car here in town that was in an accident. It has now been converted to a semi-motorcycle...front end of a cycle and room for two people, side by side in the rear! I laugh every time I see it!
We have cottonmouths and copperheads but no pythons, hopefully.
Well, you could try making your car look as though it had impacted a python and trapped it there in a permanent display on the damaged front of the vehicle.
Essentially, you'd have a mounted python and a holey grill.
I had something similar once. The holey grill was accurate. However in the stead of a mounted python I had a perforated deer.
Doesn't have the same ring...
The deceased bambi laid in state for two days after although I never witnessed a wake. I could/should have grabbed a photo of the perforated bambi with an embedded object the visible portion of which looked suspiciously like the missing portion of my grill protruding from its side just behind its rib cage..
This little orange kitten was rescued in Lithuania.
*groan*
Cute little orange floof!!!
Good morning! I’m about to load up whichever children are vertical and go help Dona Edra, the Spanish Battleaxe, with moving some stuff. (Since Tom isn’t here, she won’t expect any action regarding her son-in-law ;-).
The cats are settled in their beds waiting for the sun to hit them.
I saw what you did there.
I’m always pretty proud of myself when I figure it out.
I’m going to go take a shower and then decided on the rest of the day.
I have no money left after paying the guy yesterday, so I won’t even be going to Walmart.
After he left, I had to spray the house with Febreze, and then later, have a breathing treatment. Between the BO and the cigarette smoke that lingered on him, I wasn’t feeling too well.
Still I’m grateful I can watch DVDs in bed. If the one out here worked, I could watch movies on Saturday when there is nothing on TV, this not being football season!
Finished cleaning Edra’s car out, took kids to the park.
Sadly, yer supposed to bring them back.
Heh. Sally has attracted a squadron of other people’s toddlers to dig in the sand.
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