Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Awww....what a cute kitty! Floofy squee again!
I’m going to go to Walmart soon. I don’t want to but I have to. I had to toss out about a pint of milk that was headed for cottage cheese, from the last half gallon I was forced to buy a month ago. I usually buy quarts because they don’t go sour before I can use them. And, they are easier to handle.
I’m waiting for my colonoscopy.
Ohdear. I hope everything is OK. How soon will you get the results?
I’ve been to Walmart and pinched the meat at the side of my hand between a support pole and the shopping cart. I never knew something could hurt so bad that wasn’t bleeding.
And speaking of bleeding, I cut off the tip of my left index finger, trying to cut open a bag of Kisses. (I usually treat myself to two in the evenings, as a reward for being good at limiting my calorie intake.) That left bandage will have to be changed soon, and I may have to go get more gauze pads.
Two days ago, I sliced the tip of my right index finger on a ceramic shard, and that’s healing, but it still hurts.
I’m a walking disaster area!
Sounds like you need to do things more slowly.
All done. One polyp, he says it looks harmless but they’ll call after it’s biopsied.
You can’t choose your family.
I’m OK with most of the history in my family, except Dad’s migraines which I inherited. My living sister, OTOH...
I just go through phases where I’m clumsy as all get-out. It, too, is a part of CFIDS. I just deal with my self-inflicted wounds, knowing things like this will pass.
I’ve had a cup of coffee and a bowl of crunchy raisin bran. I dreamed about crunchy raisin bran while dozing on the sofa this morning!
After the kids have lunch, I’ll get something else.
I had a cold Starbucks, because I needed some change to give to the guy who’s going to set up my DVD player, finally. I hooked it up after I moved in but it doesn’t work. I didn’t want to get $20 in cash, so I stopped at 7-11 and got the coffee and some change. So I’m good.
The guy has been known for being drunk all the time and I was going to buy him a small case of beer, but he said he had to give up beer because it took him two days to recover. So I figure with money, he can either buy a pack of cigarettes or put it towards some hard stuff.
I don’t know when he’ll show up, but it’s OK.
It’s supposed to be almost 80 today, and I want to go sit in it for a while. Just to warm up!
I’m cooking chicken Ramen for some of the kids, now that we have their breakfast dishes cleaned up. After lunch we can go to the playground or something until it’s Kathleen’s naptime.
I may have some soup later on, but not right now.
When I come in, I will work on the final draft of my Will, and maybe get started on the Living Trust. We’ll see how I feel.
When they gave me the hospital gown and some blankets at the GE practice, they had been warmed. I thought that was awfully nice.
We have a forecast high of 75 today. Back to a more seasonal 62 tomorrow.
After my accountant told me how much more I had to contribute to keeping the national debt below $19 trillion I have to skip 7-11 for a while.
Like the next 20 years.
Why is it I wanted to make more money again?
What I didn’t understand is why they wanted to show me pictures after. Did they want to prove they’d really done something between “This won’t take lon...” and “...wake up now”?
Some things we just weren’t meant to know about ourselves.
I love warms blankets!
I have to go get some gauze.
I got side-tracked. I got the gauze and home again.
Every time things go up and my income doesn’t, I wonder why I had to get so sick I can’t even work part-time.
I was never one for buying coffee. I always made better coffee than what I could buy. Still do. And it’s cheaper.
The only time I buy coffee is the occasional splurge on an iced chocolate mocha from McDonald’s. I can’t find any mocha that tastes as good as that.
We have thunderstorms in the forecast tomorrow and Sunday.
I’m having a weird movement near my ribs that feels like a baby kicking. Must be air!
God bless you, dear!
Thanks! See tagline: I had a colonoscopy this morning. Maybe some time on the treadmill will move remaining air pockets out.
:-)
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