Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’m having a colonoscopy on Thursday. I won’t provide details!
I don’t do colonoscopies. I’m tired of invasive tests.
What I need is money for groceries and new bras. And some drops for my eyes that won’t affect my BP. And some Riesling. The last two times I went to Walmart, they were totally out of rice pudding, and I use it almost as often as I use the yogurt...which I’m down to the last one of.
Or something. At any rate, I’m going to take my aggravatin’ bundle and head for bed because there seems to be nothing else to do. I have one yogurt left and that will follow my last pills for the night.
My eyes are itchy and sore and the stereo that found itself to my patio yesterday isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Only the cassette player works, and the recorder is broken as well as the CD player, and nothing that the AM/FM can work with. *sigh*
So I will take it to the Dumpster when I wake up in the morning.
Oh, too bad about the stereo! I hope you have a good night and feel better tomorrow.
It’s just another night and another tomorrow, and I’ll get through them both.
A drive by to help this thread reach 5,000 posts.
That was thoughtful! Thanks!
It tends to be a tad more civil here than on the more political threads. Also slightlymajorly less directed.. ;-)
I keep an eye on it when it pops up in the latest posts col.
Thank you for the invite!
Hi, NoC! Do you happen to know of an insect that makes a really loud, ratcheting-type sound? At first I thought it was a mocker imitating local agricultural equipment, but one morning the noise was coming from a marshy-looking area and there wasn’t a birdie in sight.
Ah. OK.
Been there.
Could it be a frogcritter?
I’d need to hear it to see if it is anything in my experience list, but we have some strange sounding frog things around here. And yes, mockers can and will sound like many strange and unusual things so don’t count one of those out just because he was wearing camo that morning.. ;-)
Me, too. Five years ago.
Wow, I hadn’t even considered frogcritters! We usually have beaucoodles of them around here, but I haven’t been outdoors much, and it has been rather cold recently. I’m pretty certain that a mocker wouldn’t have been schlepping around in the mud puddle. I knew you’d nail it! Thanks a bunch! Regards to all....
I got a “come back in 10 years” rating.
5 more to go.
Do you have cicadas in your area? We get them here periodically, but usually at seven-year intervals.’
I don’t like their sounds.
I slept in, my computer didn’t want to start and I’m tired and beaten up from my allergies. I can’t seem to think in cohesive sentences and my eyes feel all squirmy.
I need to go to Walmart but I don’t feel like going this morning. Sleeping in makes my brain fall out.
Floofy squee! Such a cute kitteh!
Kitteh says: “ Don’t try to pull anything....I see you! “
‘Morninng, SJB! I bet you like that heated mattress pad and those flannel sheets really well, this last shivery week!
How are you doing?
!
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