ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[moose07]

Yes....
There may be one or two design issues.
LoL, no carrot will be safe again!

[Tax-chick]

The effects on the ecosystem will be unpredictable, but substantial.

[moose07]

Thinking on it.....That is just a redesign of the Deer. Perhaps with a higher IQ level.

[Tax-chick]

Doesn’t take much to be smarter than deer.

[null and void]

Reminds me of the new Kelly Moore colors.

Zane Grey.
Foreseeable Fuchsia.
‘Enrey ‘Iggins Just You White.

[null and void]

Yes, he did: Jeremy Brett

The definitive Sherlock Holmes, IMHO.

[null and void]

Wings. Four legs. Dragon.

Wings. Two legs. Wyvern.

Assuming reptiles, of course...

[Tax-chick]

I agree.

He was very pretty as a young man, but his nose got hookier as he aged.

[Tax-chick]

Four legs. The fur was weird.

[null and void]

Every jot and tittle!

[null and void]

Mammal. Hexapod. No such animal ON EARTH.

[Tax-chick]

Could have been related to the platypus.

[Covenantor]

careful... that's slipping into jackalope territory...

Patent infringement for sure.

[null and void]

Wings. Four legs. Fur. Feathers. Beak. Griffin.

[null and void]

Wings. Two legs. Two arms. Hair. Feathers. Angel.

Wings. Two legs. Two arms. No hair. No feathers. Demon.

[null and void]

Wings. Four legs. Fur. Feathers. Antlers. Flying Jackalope.

[Monkey Face]

Not me. I don’t do that unless I’m sick.

I just got off the phone with Dell again, and the computer is back up. A little sluggish, but we will see how it shapes up between now and Monday.

Now I’m going to ihop for a free short stack.

Later!

[Monkey Face]

Not me. I don’t do that unless I’m sick.

I just got off the phone with Dell again, and the computer is back up. A little sluggish, but we will see how it shapes up between now and Monday.

Now I’m going to ihop for a free short stack.

Later!

[moose07]

The legendary Jackalope is the very reason I put Perforated Steel sheet in front of the Car’s radiator. :)

[Tax-chick]

Enjoy!