Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Wagner?
Let a woman in your life
And your sabbatical is through.
In a line that never ends
Comes an army of her friends
Come to jabber and to chatter
And to tell her what the matter is
With you
She’ll have a booming, boisterous family
Who will descend on you en masse.
She’ll have a large Wagnerian mother
With a voice that shatters glass!
That’s all I know about Wagner.
lyrics from
My Fair Lady
Still have my folks lp with Rex Harrison singing (rather sort of early English rap). Still one of my favs.
...but it relates to rats, just how?
Bananas!
Ungh....
Rex Harrison was still hot! LOL!
I’m so glad we are of a similar opinion on that subject.. :)
Wellllllll-doogies!
It looks like NJ Transit rail woker unions are considering a strike to start March 13.
THAT’s going to make it fun for 160,000 or so commuters to get into NYC for work.
The brownie mix (Ghirardelli) comes with frosting. Most of the kids will have fish sticks for supper. Tom is heading out for spring break with his friends tomorrow. They’re going to stay at a resort in the Shenandoah Valley which Will’s parents have arranged through some sort of time-share arbitrage. Hopefully they’ll get nice weather for outdoor activities.
ahhhh....but it all turns out well, Professor ‘Enery ‘Iggins gets his attitude adjusted in the end.
We had snow today.
Nothing really stuck, except to the cars.
What kind of nice weather did you have in mind?
Just you wayte, Enry Iggins. Just you wayte!
You’ll be sorry but your tyears ‘ill be too layte.
You’ll be broke and I’ll ‘ave money.
Will I ‘elp ya’? Don’ be funny.
Just you wayte, Enry Iggins. Just you wayte!
(snip)
Marry Freddy.
What an infantile idea!
What a hartless, wicked, brainless thing to do.
Not raining would be good. And not too cold: Tom isn’t taking winter gear.
I liked Freddy. “On the Street Where You Live” is a great song.
Didn't he become one of the Sherlock Holmes? (Which is like becoming an Elvis, for a certain set of English-language speakers.)
I don’t know. Excuse me while I IMDB.
Yes, he did: Jeremy Brett, good gravy. He claimed Sherlock Holmes drove him to an early grave.
He’s not singing, though, according to Youtube. He probably could sing just fine: all the trained Brit actors could.
He has only himself to blame. Everyone knows Holmes was a lousy driver.
“Why was you sniggering?!”
I don't do that, but that's the mercy anyhow.
It will make it considerably less crowded..
It’s been siting here for three hours.
So I’ll take it. ;-)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.