Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh yes.
The US has some of the Best Wild Orchestras in the World.
The Great Orchestras of the Wild West and the High Plains are well known.
That is how you can tell when you’re about to be ambushed....Even John Wayne had one ear to the Orchestra at all Times.
In my neck of the woods Chinese food is delivered by people from The DR.
Before the European invasion the natives just put their ears to the ground.
Have no doubt that the technique worked brilliantly. Early Sonar.
However with the European came the SUV.
Putting your Ear to the ground at 50 MPH on rough ground can get a bit hairy.
The lasagna is about 30 minutes from being done, and the artisan bread is rising.
The sun is shining, and I will soon go out to the ramada. It seems the peeps carried on their party without me, but then, I told them I can’t do late night stuff, and they all know that any time after 1700 is “late night” to me!
The weather is soon to change, as my right ankle is forewarning me. I need to put some stuff on it, and take some Ibuprofen. I hate this!
ping to 4665
Sorry about ankle, weather, and all that, but I’m impressed with your cooking prowess. Sally is making brownies for the mission group to sell at the fish dinner tonight. Kathleen was helping. Tom has taken Elen to CP to take the trigonometry test again. I was lying on the sofa in the sun, pretending to be a cat, until I had to intervene in a dispute about dishwashing.
Lasagna!
Be around in ,say, 20 minutes? :)
Enjoy the Sun ,’Face.
Everybody wants to be a cat.
Because a cat’s the only cat that knows where it’s at.
Everybody’s pickin’ up on that feline beat.
‘Cause everything else is obsolete.
Certainly describes them.
It sho enuf do!
I promised myself I would make the lasagna, but as with most things I make, I’ll give about 2/3 of it away. It’s so doggone GOOD!
There’s more than enough for you, Moosie, so I’ll expect you any time!
As for the artisan bread, I will have to bake it tonight, or it will be too big for the pan I have to bake it in.
Brownies sound good! Maybe I’ll make some the next time I have some extra money. I haven’t had any brownies for a long time. And what are brownies without chocolate frosting??
There were no disputes about dishwashing when I was growing up. When it was my sister’s turn to wash, she always headed for the bathroom with a book. And I got to wash dishes. Yep. Those were the days, alright. But then I developed an allergy to Tide, so that ended the dishwashing for me, until someone told my mother there was a thing called “dish detergent.” Then I believe it was Palmolive. But I could be wrong. So I was back to washing dishes again. :o|
Unfrosted brownies?
Is this a trick question?
If they are unfrosted brownies, they are just chocolate bread. ;o]
*tagline*
Not a bad tagline, but I like:
This life is only a test. If it had been an actual life you’d have been given some instructions.
Well, those aren’t blondies.
Yep, that works, too! :o])
In 1979 Pink Floyed stated, “We don’t need no education.”
In 2016 Donald Trump is the front runner for President.
Coincidence? I think not.
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