Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I saw a clip on FB where I guy was shooting marbles at various objects, just to see what the shatter pattern would be. He hit a champagne bottle, and rather than shatter the bottle, the marble ricocheted and hit him smack in the forehead.
I just shook my head and reminded me that there is absolutely NO CURE for stupidity.
And yes, he survived.
Ex Libro Lapidum Historia Mundi
;>)
well done
youtube has an abundance of videos showing shooters hit by .22 ricochets from truck tires...ouchies
The marble selfie was amazing because of the damage...it went about half-way in, but bled like crazy. The pain was evidently enormous, as even when the guy wasn’t in the picture, he could be heard moaning, loudly.
I tried to feel sorry for him, but Forrest Gump had it right - stupid is as stupid does.
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” as they say.
Morning. I hope you’ll have a nice day! I plan to put your shirts in the mail after I pick Tom up at school.
I’m sleepy and the day has just begun. I guess it has to do with the allergies and the pollen in the air. I had to have all three nebulizer meds yesterday, and then I fell asleep while I was reading.
One would think, with all the “wrath of God” events in the Bible that a person would stay awake to get to the end of the chapter. NOT!
I have to go to the dollar store and them I’m going to come home and take a nap. This is not fun!
I will begin looking for the shirts around the 9th. :o] YAY!!!
Be careful, The Donald will be copyrighting Wrath of God since he represents it.
At least, as best I can tell.
nice
Afternoon, TC.
Had a walmartian adventure to attend to.
That’s the PDF, you want to see the original!
An interesting perspective, that.
Adope tells me I need to upgrade my viewer before I can read it.
;>)
“...Upgrade my viewer...”
CRTs are just as good as LED monitors, don’t fall for that old marketing ploy. :)
Have just made a gorgeous cup of Tea. A pint of Boiling water on the leafs and just a splash of milk. Almost as good as an amber Ale.
Excellent for those days when the when the wind comes sweeping o’er the plains.
Or blustering in from the North forty.
Or funneling down the Manhattan concrete canyons.
My current headpiece came from Gander Mountain..
I remember pouring boiling water over some leaves I’d gathered last fall.
I’ll stick to drinks made from beans.
There’s some good looking kit on their site.
We’d need to go In several shops to match the range and apparent quality of that place.
And add 20 percent to all the prices....VAT sucks.
Didn’t notice any Breathable Rain Coats.
:)
Tea is like a Canadian Mountie,
Tea is patient,
Tea has all the time in the world,
You don’t see Tea, But Tea sees you.
Tea always gets its man.
Reminds me of:
If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you.
If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only moments away from a violent and painful death.
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