Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oooh, oooh, ‘Face made a joke!
Afternoon, epople. I keep lying down hoping to nap, but I’m too agitated. I hate when that happens. And Jake is ignoring me.
I had that one already to go.
Took myself to the movie show
Sat myself in the very back row
Put my arm around my waist
Got so fresh I slapped my face
Dating all the way back to the 1960s, I think.
I keep trying to get agitated about the things that need doing at work but I’m too close to nodding off.
Sounds like you need some tea.
LOL! I was set up, I tell ya. SET UP!!!
I am so tired! I still have to go to the dollar store, but that will have to wait until tomorrow morning, as by the time I got the truck washed this morning, I was almost too tired to function.
It would be nice to lie down, as my night was so messed up, but I need to stay up as long as I can.
It was 75 on my patio about 30 minutes ago, and there is no breeze at all. Unusual. The trees are so ready to leaf out that the entire valley is a bright green.
I sat with the peeps for a while, but had to wear the face mask the whole time. Before I went out, I had a steroid breathing treatment, but I will need something else (probably both of the others) before I go to bed. Allergies!!!
Bettern’ being set down, I guess.
I think the dollar stor is about a $1.25 store with inflation these days.
Nope. Everything in there is $1. So whatever I buy, I can look at my list and say, “Ten dollars, plus tax,” and that’s what the bill is.
Things like the ol’ college standbys of ramen and cup-o-soup, are, respectfully, five for a dollar and three for a dollar. I LIKE it! :o])
I went to The Salvation Army today on the way to get Tom at school. I didn’t find anything I wanted, but I got you three t-shirts. Once they’re washed I’ll pack them up and mail them.
YAY!!! (Happy dance times three!) WOO-HOO! Yippee!
I am SO excited! Now I have some mail to look forward to that isn’t BILLS and ads!
*dancity-dance*
The pork roast is absolutely falling apart, so I will take some down to Charlie before I get too tired. He can add some stuffy-thingys to it for supper.
And when I get back, I will have some and then go to bed.
Don’t dance too hard yet. I’ll let you know when the Package Bunneh is on the way. One shirt is from a motorcycle club, and I forget the other two.
But there are no inappropriate messages!
I also got Elen a historic Led Zeppelin shirt. Someone on the stocking crew has caught on about classic rock band t-shirts: it was priced at $4. I only paid $2 because it’s half-price day. I also got Sally some kind of little “Forever 21” garment.
Plus that trusty 8.875% NY sales tax.. ;-)
(There's a reason to shop in PA. It is automatically 2.875% cheaper.. ;-)
The logos on the shirts are immaterial (no pun intended) because I will be wearing them at night.
I took the pork to Charlie but he was asleep and it was only after I rang his bell for the third time that he answered the door. Poor guy!
While I was at the remada today, the person I love to hate was there, along with four people who were running for Board Positions. I asked her if she could translate the flyer I had composed and printed up yesterday, and she was hesitant and said she she would try. She was born in Argentina, and has a limited knowledge of American English, so I wasn’t too confident.
Then someone suggested we ask the Senior Rep, as she is fluent in both languages because of her job. We told Berta that Cathy would do it, as she does all the Spanish for the forms that are distributed.
Well. Berta was SO ticked off about the change that she scribbled a note to the guy she had been having an affair with, and ripped him a new one. (Insert your choice of nouns.)
Rather than confront any of us, she preferred to take it out on the guy who didn’t want her. I told him he needed to save all this stuff because one never knows where a scorned lover will go next. The woman needs help. SOON!
Zeke said he didn’t need to, but I would feel really bad if Berta did something that could have been prevented!
That’s what our sales tax is, as well. And I continually ask, “WHY???”
Because they can...
Yes. There is THAT. :o|
And with that, I’m outta here. My bed keeps calling and I’m really MUCH too tired to resist.
So I’ll see all y’all in the morning!!
<3
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