Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
GRRRRRR!!!!
I didn’t need to be NPO at all.
Right, but if a driver had a camera he wouldn’t need the noise to alert stupid pedestrians he’s backing up.
Why?
Walmartians need to have their herd thinned regularly. Let the heavy trucks do it.
Ah dang! Shuckydarn. Summerditch. Dirtybasket. Cusswords.
That’s just plain dirty pool.
*hug*
And yet, there you have it.
And, now, an excuse to do some anti-social things and get away with it.
Wow, strong verbiage!
Touche’.
OSHA won’t let them go any time soon, though.
This morning, I went to Joann’s fabric and craft store to get a larger circular knitting needle than I had, I had stopped at a Rebel station on the way because it was on. the. way.
As I was going towards the back of the store, I passed a very tall woman in the next aisle over, heading for the check-out. As we passed, I heard he high heels click on the floor.
I got what I needed and headed for the check-out, and this woman was ahead of me. She was wearing 4” red stilettos, black nylon stockings, a red sweater and denim short-shorts. And when she bent over the counter to pick up her bag of alcoholic beverages, I was treated to a glimpse of a 4” hairy butt crack, because her sweater/shirt had ridden up. He had boobs, too, but I still can’t decide if he was a tranny or just a cross dresser, and I guess it doesn’t really matter.
What matters is that what has been seen, cannot be unseen...
:oO
Ick.
But see, ArGee, I don’t want that kind of thing on my vehicle. When I wash it off, I won’t know if it will multiply or just enlarge, like the Blob, and consume the BB SUV or both of us. I don’t want the responsibility of that, thanks...
*I’m so ashamed.*
I’m particularly impressed by “dirtybasket.”
Watccch your language, young lady. This is a family site.
Yeah, you don’t have to share those stories.
Ickickickickickickick.
Well, growing up where I did, we had to devise cusswords that were acceptable to those who heard us! And those words I just used are the result! :o]
I said I was *ashamed*!
My grandfather’s vaudville show had a tune called “Out Behind the Barn” about how a young man was educated - using his father’s paddle.
In one case he got paddled for the kind of words he’d learned, like hecky-doodle and shucky-durn.
Out behind the barn, boys
Out behind the barn.
I got my education
Out behind the barn.
Hamtramck!
LOL!!!
Yah, those words can get a gal in trouble for sure!
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