Because you can't have too much Tiny Kitten.
Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I hope the sunrise where y’all are was as nice as the one I witnessed here in Connecticut.
It is enough that I was allowed to participate.
Eye of newt, wing of Bat,
High in protein, low in fat!
Morning Bob.
Imagine the crowding in rush hour if the Earth was flat!
LoL,Oh that’s Good!
Must remember that.....
Every day on this side of the grass is a good one.
I only want a million of them.
1,032 Methuselah’s, that would be a heck of a run.
Pretty kittehs! <3
My stomach is killing me today, so I will eat another ulcer cocktail. I want to go back to bed, but that’s not going to work.
...the rope broke...four angry sooty squirrels chattering like mad on my hearth... bitter battle ensued...with only a poker and coal scuttle, I....never mind, wasn’t pretty.
Morning, Travis T. I hope you do better than just breathing today!
Sorry about your stomach! I’ve lost some children again.
Thanks. It has to do with the current stress. No wonder I want to leave. I want the rest of my life to be relatively stress free, and I can’t do it here. I know that, now.
Very kewl.
And every kitteh knows the Spnyx is half kitteh.
Kittehs love ye olde Egypt.
One lost child has turned up. It looks like I have to go in search of Sally.
I want my life to be relatively stress-free, too ... but having yours go more easily would make me pretty happy.
Because you can't have too much Tiny Kitten.
OH YEAH! Today is going to be a good one! I hope for you, as well!
On the plus side, we have a nice sunny day, fairly warm. On the downside, #3 son is showing signs of coming down with the Crud.
Uh oh, hope it passes quickly.
Several others had it about a week ago.
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