Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Hello? Is anyone here? Besides me, I mean?
I’m almost ready for bed, and after I post this, I will check my emails one last time.
In the meantime, how did I do today?
You won 20 billion dollars in the Super Duper, Super Duper Lotto!
And I’ll make you pay for that, SJB...Oh. Wait. It’s not your turn! LOL!
Me thinks it must be time for me to head for the bedroom because I need to go read.
You won 20 billion dollars and if you’ll just send me your bank account number I’ll transfer it.
Honest!
I read on the treadmill.
I tread on the readmill.
All the live-long day. I’ve been treading on the readmill, just to pass the time away.
Kids have messed with the thermostat. It’s 64 degrees in here.
Good morning.... balmy 28F, nice to have two days in a row without red banner winter advisories. Sunshine promised.
Don’t let chimney sweeps borrow your kitties. Just say NO! Don’t get swayed by all that song and dance about Chim chim chiminee...it’s no life for kitties.
We don’t have a chimney.
But we do have heat, now that DP replaced the batteries in the thermostat.
Rumor has it that some folk tie squirrels into a bundle to clean chimneys, effective if one can stand the angry chattering.
I love today’s kittehs.
I would not let my kitties hang out with a chimney sweep. However, if they wanted to hang out with Rob and Laura Petrie, I think that would be ok.
P.S. I don’t have a chimney either. Santa comes through the bathroom window, like Sir Paul song. Tee hee.
Good morning! We’re going to have Sunbeam later.
How on Earth did you discover the Squirrel Chimney Auto Sweeper DEbice?
That has been a closely guarded secret for generations in these parts.
That David Attenborough again ,doing another documentary I’ll bet!
Do have to admit thou ,they do a better job than a Kid on a rope.....
Morning fellow Earthlings. :)
Afternoon. Another day in the salt mines ...
Good Morning, Gefn.
Your post stirred this name to life: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flinders_Petrie
That’s how it feels . :)
Must create Lunch.
Eye of newt, wing of Bat.....
Morning is dispensed on Earth cafeteria style, so there won’t be crowding.
Help yourself.
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