Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
So, are the “neuter” the Human Beans that Red Skelton used to talk about?
Question, if the force is - well - a force, a non-living magical thingie that’s just waiting for the Jedi to start using it, then how can it awaken? How can it even asleepen?
I figured one of you guys would know.
Maybe it needed a chemical or physical trigger.
Are you saying Darth Vader gave it a valium before he became a good guy and tossed the Emperor down the rabbit hole?
<snort>
Oops. I snorted.
I live in the Kingdom of Wessex.
The last stronghold of the Saxon Kings, before that Norman thing turned up and ruined the party.
The Force flows through you.
It excites the Midichlorians in your body giving you access to the energy of the universe or ‘Force’.
The higher your Midichlorian count ,the more of a Starwars fan you are. :)
Ah well then...had no idea that runaway synaptic connections about Dunkin’ Donuts cheap coffee in New Jersey would lead to sparking and crackling paths to your Kingdom. Amazing....
;>)
That is something we will never know for certain.
Any path is a possible highway on the UT . :)
If you take forever getting somewhere then any direction will get you there.
Ummmm.......Have you ever assembled flat pack furniture? :)
The secret to any of that is the same as the secret of a magic trick. Just figure out how you would do it, and that’s likely how the magician did it.
With furniture, puzzle over it long enough to be able to comprehend the instructions, and then follow the instructions.
And don’t use a power drill.
Took a chest of draws out of the box to inspect it.........
Do you think we could get it back into that box?
Definitely magic was afoot .
.....
Presenting the new Sainsbury's Christmas Advert. Mog sets off a chain of unfortunate events which almost ruin Christmas for the Thomas family. Can she pull it all back to save the day?
This year, we worked in partnership with HarperCollins Children's Books and world renowned author and illustrator Judith Kerr to create a Christmas story based on her much loved character Mog. We hope that families will come together this Christmas to enjoy this very special story.
That has been on for a few weeks.
Thought it was a Salvation Army advert at first.
You can really feel for that family in that ad.
The ads are better than the programs on some channels.
That something like the Budweiser ads were better than the beer?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.