Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Whoa.
I get coffee for 25 cents at Dunkin? Does this apply to Jersey too?
You have to be a Perks member, which means you have to buy and register a card. In Jersy it includes Bergen, Essex, Hudson, Middlesex, Monmouth, Morris, Ocean, Passaic, Somerset, Sussex, Union, and Warren counties.
Did human beings once have 3 sexes? I’ve never been able to figure out why there are so many places called Middlesex.
That’s what I call “falling” asleep! LOL!
“Cats without bones.”
Take a closer look. His/her hindquarters ( that’s drumsticks in China ) are supported solely by the tail. Can’t be too comfortable, yet....
No. There’s Upper Sex, Lower Sex and Middle Sex.
:)
I will have to be a perks member.
So Es-sex and Sus-sex rate special coffee prices but the other 58 or so sex designators are descrimated against!
Wes-sex in the UK involves helicopters and vegatable oil. Most male Royals have ratings in The Wes-sex. Rumor is that rubber clothing, well vests any way are involved as well as throttling and pulling on the “stick”. Rough trade. Don’t know if donuts are involved but dunkin’ implies that they might be.
Odd...Prince Harry doesn’t look like Prince Charles, OR Princess Diana. I wonder how that happened? ;oP
Last I heard (and I am not a Famebooker) Famebook recognizes far too many types for Dunkin to possibly give out cheap coffee to. They have to draw a line SOMEwhere.
Speaking of which, I read a report that some 50-y-o man had left his wife and kids and was now living his inner reality as a 6-y-o girl. Rather than someone pointing a shotgun in his general direction and telling him to gird his loins (which he does have) and get back to work, he’s found a family to adopt him.
My mind is now thoroughly boggled. The de-boggling could take days. If you were to ask me to take a voyage at the risk of sailing off the edge of the world I would probably consider that an improvement to this madness.
Oh, I think he’s getting to look a bit like Charles as he gets older. Similarly-shaped face, especially around the eyes.
Sure is a cutie.
I “heard” he is the son of a polo player that Diana had a brief fling with. If so, he fits the gene pool attribute...red curly hair and all.
Dang. I went out to check the mail and Charlie was there, so I sat for a few minutes with him. The mail came, and by then, the wind, had, too, so we agreed to agree to leave! 43 and NNE @ 11.
Tomorrow, if I remember, I’m going to go put my name on the list for a couple of apartments. I have to do something....
Well, if you just have to do something, I found this idea out on the Web.
Paint the word “LIFE” on a shirt and walk around handing people lemons.
Sounds like fun.
Good idea about the apartments.
I don’t think it’s likely that Harry is anyone’s son but Charles’s. The Windsors wouldn’t leave him in the succession if they had the slightest concern.
Red hair does have a tendency to skip a generation, so it’s quite possible that all came from his mother’s family.
I’m not excited about apartments, but I have to do something. I hate the idea of moving, so when I find the right place, I will stay there, since it doesn’t seem like I’m going to have my own home, ever. :o|
Yes. The doors were labeled Men, Women, and Custodian.
So what is that? I mean, did you design it?
It’s way cool, anyway! <3
My copy command doesn't always copy...
LOL!
Wellden...
I thought they always had three sexes...male, female, and neuter!
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