Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
You posted the kitteh and it woke me up. I just couldn’t GET up, so I’m posting now. Good morning!
KLUC radio here just finished a 12-day charity drive for bikes, toys and gift cards, totaling $450,000. Yepper: $450,000. Enough to fill 30 semi trucks.
37 degrees when I got up 30 minutes ago. *shiver* I don’t want to go anywhere today! Lucky for me, I have laundry to fold and put away, which will keep me busy for, oh, at least 20 minutes, so I’m good. :o])
Good morning. I didn’t hear the kitteh saying anything, but it’s pretty loud here.
Our current temp is 50, but it will be 73 later. Jake is waiting for the Sunbeam to hit the bed.
Sunbeam electric blanket? Does that Sunbeam still exist?
Oh you mean a solar sunbeam!
Yes. It makes the tummy fur warm and happy. My first kitty made a song about it I will post below for Jake and all the kitties.
To all the Viking Kitties out there here is the sunshine/sunbeam song, as written by the late Cleopatra kitteh.
(sung to the music of John Denver)
Sunshine on my tummy fur makes me happy
Sunshine on,my tummy fur makes me smile
Sunshine on my tummy makes me sleepy
Sunshine doesn’t get me as high as catnip.
Solar sunbeam. After breakfast, I went up to dress and found Jake on my pillow with Dad’s Kitty. I pulled the blind all the way up, so the Sunbeam should hit them soon.
LOL!
Isn’t Jake and All the Kitties a band? Do thy lurk here?
Jake took over as frontman for Josie and the Pussycats, when Josie left.
I think Josie decided she liked dogs better.
I’m waiting for the Sunbean to hit the living room window. I hate that daylight is so short, now. Must be the SAD kicking in...it comes in winter, ya know.
There are several things I need to do, but I can’t think of which one to do first.
Old age and all that!
(Inside joke.)
Dogs make better minions than do cats. When you tell a dog to do something, it listens!
It won’t do anything, but it pays attention.
That's because you might offer food at any time.
On a different topic -
Not as lovely as sunbeams
Everyone ready for tonight’s debate?
I just saw your gingerbread house.
I like it. I like it!
When that happens to me I default to nap.
I’m ready. I’m fully prepared to ignore it like all the last ones and then read the reviews in the morning.
I focus on more important stuff.
For example, Jets won Sunday. Giants won last night. That’s 2 days of $.25 coffee at Dunkin. W00t!!!
Morning to you!
Machine dried on perma press setting... A Big No No...
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