Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I love my feet, and though that may seem an odd statement to make, I have always loved being able to feel things with them. Hot, cold, tile, carpet, lineoleum, concrete, grass, dirt, sand, and the list goes on.
So feeling the cold floors and a little bit of the rug in just small parts of my soles is a real treat!
As kids, we used to pick up marbles and small rocks with our toes, and I can’t do that, now, because the feeling hasn’t extended to the toes, yet. I’m excited!
Pretty girl! <3
This sounds like a good description of the place we go to to get sorted out for our final destination. Some people call it Purgatory.
Wherever I end up, I'll still try to make it a better place. Considering my chances about where I might end up, being able to make it a better place could be fairly easy.
I suspect you will be a lot higher up on the Ladder than I am, Bob, but I know I will be able to see you and listen to your poems and stories!
:o])
Handsome cat. Our calicos have had lighter orange patches, and more white.
Yes, she was a pretty cat. And she liked liverwurst. I haven’t had a cat since that would touch the stuff. Until Tipton T. Longcat.. ;-)
Toward the end of her time she was basically ‘suffering’ from kitty-Alzheimer’s, er, Feline Cognitive Disorder (although exceptionally healthy otherwise especially for a 24 year old and thus not suffering in the ‘in pain’ sense) and she no longer purred or wanted to be scratched. She didn’t mind if you did but she wouldn’t come up and insist on attention as she did for so many years before. And she ate more or less mechanically and didn’t respond to the sound of an opening can - just wander past the plate and if there was something on it she’d eat.
But almost as soon as you got out some liverwurst she was right there. Apparently that was one aroma memory that never left her..
After 22 years it was hard to say good-bye.
My monitor got blurry.. ;-)
Our Agnes had senility in her last year or so, as well. She would start across the street toward the woods, forget where she was going, and lie down in the road.
Don't worry. We don't judge people here.
Fortunately, with the right friends, the scale is heavily weighted.
Somehow, your tagline and the kitteh photo seem to go together quite well. :o])
LOL! Just wait until kitteh outweighs you ...
A few minutes ago, I was searching for the key to the cabinet in the schoolroom and a CD I wanted to put there. Then I found that I’d already put the CD away and hung the keys on the hook where they belong.
I understand it’s my hormones causing this ...
That sounds like something I’d do. And have done.
I don’t know if I want to go to that appointment this morning or not. I don’t want to drive.
I think I’m going to reschedule, since it’s not a follow-up. I know, it’s not good to procrastinate, but I’ve been dreading this for almost a week, which means I had probably better stay home.
The heat lamp is on in the bathroom, so in a few minutes, I can take my shower. Maybe I’ll feel better after that. Or not.
I just checked FedEx. They picked the PC up on Tuesday and it didn’t leave Henderson until about two hours ago. *sheesh*
> Indirectly. Your hormones caused you to mature into a beautiful woman who could bear children. Your hormones also caused you to want children.
Having children caused this.
I cancelled my appointment, and I’m waiting for a call from scheduling.
Now I’m going to lie down on the couch because my eyes feel irritated. I need to get some artificial tears.
SO waiting for payday!
The fact that I was a ditz 20 years ago was definitely attributable to having children. Back at That Insurance Company, I would stick a post-it note on my hand when I left my desk, saying, for example, “You are going to the Legal Department to give the brown envelope to Mr. A. Then you’ll go by the copy center to pick up the brochures for Ms. C. Then go back to your desk.”
However, according to “Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition,” there’s a specific hormone thing causing me to be scatterbrained at 50. I can take something for it, like a vitamin, but I don’t remember which.
Tomorrow is our payday. We’re finishing up lunch, and then it’s time for Word Problems.
That’s why we call it Federal Distress.
There was a rumor during the 2008 melt down that UPS and FedEx would merge.
The new company was to be called FedUps.
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