Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Actually, yes. We had a good Governor for too short a time with Robert Ehrlich. Only one term, and he was fought every inch by the predominantly Democrat Legislature.
To deal with fiscal problems he wanted to institute some gambling revenues; NO! Said the Dems. But when his replacement arrived, they put the gambling revenues up first thing.
No, first thing, they raised the sales tax by twenty percent. Then they raided the rainy-day fund, and siphoned off the highway trust fund, so that Martin O'Malley could hire his cronies at above the maximum pay grade!
Oh, you've heard of him? Yeah, he was running for President on the Dem ticket, or being 0bama's butler, something like that.
Dems; too slippery to stay on a rail when you try to run them out of town.
Ah yes, remember Ehrlich though mostly by name recognition as opposed to accomplishment or other rating means.
But raiding rainy-day funds after raising taxes?? Whassa matter? Couldn’t O’Malley get enough revenue from taxing the rain?
O'Malley suffered from a wealth of blessings. He had the ability and the political moxie to get anything he wanted -- and he wanted a lot!
But unfortunately for him, he didn't have the political skill to do it gracefully. His moves were all stumbling clumsiness; actions that should have been kept hidden were done with glaring indifference. Finally his lack of skill proved unappetizing even to his crotch-mates. He got sorta kicked upstairs.
One of the principles of the Peter Principle is that the newly-elevated incompetent does not recognize his incompetence. It's really embarrassing.
But this is the moment when an observant schoolchild may happen to mention that the emperor has no clothes, and then it is apparent to all.
Martin O'Malley has all the political dexterity of Edward Scissorhands.
But keep in mind that the Dem selection for a candidate has not completed its winnowing. The Sieve of Eratosthenes may yet produce a Prime winning orb in the Pachinko slot.
I would hard to find in the Wal-Mart Parking lot during a good snow.
Does seem then that OMally was not prime enough, eh? (Applying the lib relativism to an absolute with that thought.. ;-)
But hey, he thinks he’s presidential. Don’t think he’s inspiring the Bernistas to flock to his camp though.
I went shopping yesterday while most people were still at work. The Walmart was only quite crowded, rather than extremely crowded, and they were out of only the cheapest brands, rather than out of everything.
Good morning Tom Tom
Something got dropped in your reply, yes?
I'm calling it Ralphie....tee shirts available.
Good Morning, Early Risers. :)
That attack of Glowbullwarmthing you’re having at the moment has made the headlines. Flights are going to be delayed!
We haz rainz .
They have mentioned frozen CO2 could be in the offing soon....
Howya, gents. I think giving names to snowstorms is the stupidest idea of recent history.
I agree that Storm naming looks totally wet at first glance.
However we recently introduced it due to a SNAFU that cost lives, a Storm was “ lost in confusion” by the media.
Hey, the TV chiron graphics guys are already there, might as well give them something to do.
moose, are they using Welsh names for your weather events?
Give John a Call at 02:00h tonight.
All the Tea and donuts he can handle.
:D
..due to a SNAFU that cost lives, a Storm was “lost in confusion” by the media.
____________________________
lost in confusion ????
Welsh storm names....
Not yet, give it time.
Hurricane Myfanwy.....
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