Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
How much for de whole fambly?
;>)
A very wise precaution as well aged single malt whiskey is part of the ritual challenge call.
Provides much amusement. Here we have those refugees from Gotham who moved out to the country to escape all that is wrong with it. You know, taxes, crime, attitude... (Of course, they tend to pack those things in the trunk of their vehicle when they move, along with their criminal offspring, but that's a story for another time.) And then they commute to work.
Was driving down NJ route 23 after one of those blizzardthings. So you can properly visualize this, NJ 23 is four land divided from the Sussex County border to I80 with a 'normal' speed limit of 55 (except for a couple of spots where the local constabulary set up speed traps in the 35 mph zone.. ;-) Anyway, returning to the story, as a result of the whitestuff, only one lane had been plowed and even it was still snowcovered. Since I have been driving in snow since I was 1316 (I would never drive illegally, to speak of) my experience told me that I was driving at a reasonable speed for the conditions - about 35mph since no one was on the road. (Best thing about living in the sticks with a bunch of transplanted citified folk is that for the first one or even two days after one of those storms almost all of them are too skiert to venture out of their driveway - they wait until the roads are cleared.)
So I'm carefully driving in the one plowed lane when in my rearview I spy some headlights approaching. Quickly. Very quickly. Soon there is a Jeep something or other riding my bumper and trying to push me, something that NEVER works - I maintained my sane speed. Idiot-in-jeep kept sniffing my tailpipe so I slowed down (because I put on my be-a-passive-agressive-jerk hat that morning, but mostly because I was - sane..) Since he had one of those four/all wheel drive thingies that go through anything, at least on TV, he eventually figured he could venture into the unplowed lane and pass me since I obviously was an inferior driver for not going the speed limit.
He managed to accomplish that act with a lot of fishtailing and such then pulled back in front of me and trucked off into the distance. Quickly. Very quickly. Leaving me saying to no one in particular "I'll see him off the road somewhere up ahead."
From where he passed me to the junction with I287 was about 6 miles and he trucked off so quickly that I never caught sight of him again. For six miles. Then I came across him sitting on the exit ramp to I287 southbound with the guard rail neatly positioned nicely centered under his Jeepthing and all four wheels off the ground. It was almost like he had created a Jeepthing monorail..
I was evil. I drove past, pointed, and laughed.
At a safe, sane speed of course.
I think it would be much more fitting if the Marines and Air Force both told him that due to inclement weather and blizzard conditions, neither Marine One nor Air Force One can fly and Barry will need to shelter in place.
Snuggled up to Moochelle of course.. ;-)
“Snuggled up to Moochelle”....
HFS...yeah, would do him good...
With a roaring log fire. *cough*
If the entire clan were to be found accidentally perforated, gutted, skinned, and sold I’ll let you know! ;-)
On that subject, two nights ago the pack was howling off to the East. Then came the sound of something-definitely-not-a-.22 (as one State Cop told us, “You’re in the ‘shoot and shovel’ area. Don’t call us.”)
The howling ceased immediately.
And it was very quiet last night.
An aside: There are several properties for sale near us. Just suppose some citified libnut buys one. Imagine their reaction the first time they hear the sound of a varmint being perforated after dark.
I can picture the Staties flying down the road with lights and sirens now..
No. However, in full disclosure, I reside in the lee of what may befall DC.
Don't let that sway your karma-casting. I'm a big boy, and will deal with what comes down. It's been a while since we had a decent toboggan base to play with.
If it snows here, I will stay home.
I do recall that area.
Schadenfreud is on occasion very satisfying.
+10
;>)
Figured you could handle it..
You HAVE verified that your solidified-glowbullwarmthing-relocating-device is fit for the task, yes?
(I went out and stroked my Olde Deere to make sure it still loved me.. ;-)
I fed the snow-blower with fresh gas and ran it for awhile, if that’s what you mean.
My driveway is pretty intimidating even without the snow. But at least I can look down on those mover-inners across the street.
Do you remember some time ago when I told you I had a friend who ran a place for greyhound dogs? I got the answer today. I will PM you with the info.
I see that VA Gov. Terrie McAwful has already declared a state of emergency. It hasn’t started snowing yet has it?
The sun has disappeared from view and with it the infrared heat. It is time to close the curtains on the windows to decrease the radiant losses from the interior of the house.
And I am immobilized by a black and white furbeast flomphing on my lap. I thought for a moment that it was leaving me, but he just stood up, rotated full circle, and flomphed back down again.
Yeah, well our guy did too, (wonder of wonders, a Republican Governor in Maryland again!) Governor Larry Hogan has called for the state of emergency to begin at 7:00 AM.
We had an inch or two last night. No problem.
Two feet? That would be ... well that would be a problem, if you wanted to go anywhere other than downhill.
I do remember, and thanks for the info.
Have there been any of those since Spiro T.?
Sorry it took so long.
That’s alright. There’s a greyhound breeder around here who breeds them for show rather than racing.
Then you won't be joining the crowd doing this?
;-)
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