ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[moose07]

The front drive set appears to have an ABS problem.
Those old off-road snowbuggies are great.

[NoCmpromiz]

Did you check the link?

[Tax-chick]

[Covenantor]

Thinking about renting an old UberSchneeKatzenwagon for the coming Blizzard...

Drivers are two fellows that go by the name of Katzenjammer

[Tax-chick]

That’ll get you to the store for milk and bread!

[Covenantor]

Oh yeah. And the eight track tapes of surfing music are pure icing.

;>)

[Tax-chick]

Catch a wave!

[ColdOne]

That is kool!

[Tax-chick]

Good morning. Cold enough for you?

[Covenantor]

Snow....

[ColdOne]

Warm...bloomin’ heat wave. 22 right now. LOL!

[Covenantor]

[Tax-chick]

It’s 26 here, but roads should be okay. We’ll go to the gym later.

[Monkey Face]

I hope Bill was able to rescue his computer. Some keyboards used to have a plastic protective tray under them, to keep the spills from reaching anything important. It would still leave you with sticky keys, but for the most part, everything worked fine.

I don’t know how the laptops are constructed now, but hopefully he was able to rescue it.

[Covenantor]

wow... warmer than our 19 degrees with ice with light snow cover on the roads.

[Monkey Face]

Cute! Nothing is as peaceful looking as a sleeping baby and a sleeping kitteh. <3

[Tax-chick]

He says it’s okay. I’m about to leave for the gym with some kids. Should have time for a shower afterward before I have to pick Tom up at school.

[Monkey Face]

Pretty cool! My son had one of those, once! Not with the tank treads, but the bus body. Of course, it was an actual working vehicle at one time, and he fixed it up pretty nicely, for the little bit of money he had.

[Monkey Face]

I want to go back to sleep. I didn’t want to get up, but I started coughing and couldn’t quit. I need to go have a breathing treatment but I don’t want to just yet. I’m too tempted to go back to sleep.

[Covenantor]

That must have been back in the day when you could get parts from JC Whitney at inexpensive prices. Lots of mods, including the dune/beach buggies.

Bruce Meyers in his original Meyers Manx...nimble kit car kitty tie