Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yup.
I wasn’t paying enough attention to the washer, so it hopped across the floor in an assassination attempt.
Meanwhile, the cats smirked at me for it.
Don’t know about the tin foil, but I’ll load up on some fuel tomorrow.
Worst case, I’ll just add another poem to the list.
Team Capt. allows team break while taking depth sounding.
Happy floofies in the snow.
Wolferman’s says your crumpets have been shipped.
If I’m not on later, it’s because OldTax-lady is here. Hopefully she won’t be Maggie Smith in a bad mood ;-).
It has taken me 25 minutes to get this far, and it’s cold. I don’t like working in the cold. I’m SO tired of winter!
I dreamed of fish swimming in a canyon river, and washing vehicles along with clothes. I dreamed of the old Dowager, and her son, and she seemed to have several kids that had a lot of clothes that had to be folded. *sheesh* I’m so confused when I wake up during or after dreams like this.
And cranky.
I’m looking forward to the crumpets!
George Burns was born on this day in 1896.
The first hundred years is the hardest.
That’s what my mother said, but she only lived to 73. I plan to outlive her by 20 or so years, so maybe I can put that to the test. ;o]
Pat keeps winning at Carcassonne. I have no idea if he’s doing it honestly, because he’s the only one who can figure up the store.
I don’t know what Carcassonne is, so I couldn’t guess why, either.
OK - I’m here for whatever that’s worth.
I’ve been earning my keep the last couple of days.
I think earning one’s keep is overrated.
So check your FReepmail...;o]
No, no checks in the FReepmail.
But I did have a new message to reply to, so that was nice.
It’s a historically-themed strategy game. It’s simple to play but more complicated to score.
I won at Monopoly with Mom, Tom, Elen, Sally, and Vlad.
FReepmails and other emails are always nice to get. :o]
I somehow can’t imagine you losing at Monopoly. I don’t like the game because of my older brothers. They were really rotten to us younger sibs, and I can never see the game without thinking of them as teenagers and how they always played the game to benefit them and made up the rules as they went along.
Oh. Now I understand about Carcassonne, I think.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcassonne_(board_game)
Mom is good at Monopoly. However, with so many people playing it was difficult to build up property worth anything. We finally arranged some trades, mostly between Tom and me, so we wouldn’t spend another six hours on the game.
I assume your older brothers went into politics? They sound like naturals.
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