Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
For winter, no, it’s actually fairly warm. We’re usually in the high 30s in the this time of year.
The Firework artillery has been going for the last Five hours, here.
Any excuse and it’s Shock and Awe! :)
5 hours....my poor poochie would be bonkers after that long.
So not 30.......must be that global warming. LOL!!! I am off. See ya next year!!!
Less than nine hours to go, here, but the wind is up, so the revelers on the Strip may go home disappointed. It doesn’t look good, say the fire department!
I will check the news at 2300 and see what’s going on, and there may be nothing to report come the dawn!
I’m talking to you from next year!
Happy New Year, Face!
Excellent job!
We just got home from church, except for Bill, who says he’ll go tomorrow, and Tom, who we don’t know where he is and nobody’s really got a problem with that. If there’s anything we need to know, the cops will call.
YES!!!! Happy New Year, Moosie!!
*clink* To your good health! :o])
Ohman.
I’ve lost the post AND my tagline! GAH!!!
Thank you, Covenantor, and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Two hours to go. I’m in a McDonald’s in Queens waiting for my daughter to finish her volunteer thing. She could call any time, so happy new year!!!
I see - your tagline is gone. Weird.
Sally just drank a giant water glass of Andre’. I think she’ll be sick. Learning experiences ...
Still no sign of Tom the Son. Maybe he’ll come home tomorrow.
Happy New Year! My daughters were watching the New Year’s Eve show from New York. There were many ghastly musical performances. I hope you missed them.
Well, in case you were worrying, rest assured that you didn't misplace him.
He's much to big to overlook.. ;-)
Happy New Year!
Someone in the greater Charlotte area is in custody of Tom the Son.
He didn’t take changes of clothes with him, so I guess he’ll be home tomorrow to do wash.
Would make sense since wearing the same clothes for days can get groady. Then again, if they sass the sniff test.. ;-)
Another 15ish minutes and we will find out if the neighbor-caterwampus-across-the-road will be doing some New Year’s fireworks..
I’m thinking not, if only because he and his wife seem to be having a marital issue and I haven’t seen him there lately..
Umm.. PASS the sniff test..
Not much in the way of fireworks here. Down economy, I guess. The Latinos are usually all in on the explosions.
The dog wanted to go out at the witching hour, so I escorted her. At thirteen, she doesn’t hear as well as she once did, so the explosions didn’t bother her.
They didn’t bother me either.
Happy New Year, everyone!
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