Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/uk-weather-cause-flooding-government-7078739
The fun starts just above the picture of Kamerov.
LOL! Sorta like that. She probably thought she was going to fall off the edge of the world, at that point!!
Sounds fun! We’ve been to the gym, showered, and next will do the Salvation Army. The byos are supposed to be cleaning up their room so Epic Fail Painting Service can finish painting. Famous last words.
He’s not called Epic Fail _______ Service for nothing ...
The truck is washed, and looks much better, but I will have to take some Armor-All to the bumpers and the trim, then clean the inside of the windows.
I was hoping I could get new wiper blades but I can’t afford them. There just isn’t that much left. And I was reminded again, as I came out of the car wash, how bad the blades are that are on there. Ungh.
Hahahahaha! ;o]
Good one.
Excellent work!
Whoa.
I like that room (those rooms?) without the frenzied artwork. I could probably be really comfy there. I just want to be somewhere that I don’t have to move out of because of politics!
Google images is WAY to much fun.
pizza?
Epic Fail Lawn Service would have to use a boat.
I don’t find any pictures like that.
Sorry.
That’s okay. He’s gone out with his friends again.
The rain has stopped here for now. Some of us are planning to go to yoga class.
Pretty good, but the whole lawn should be submerged.
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