Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
You're not a horse...
Yes, direct reference to a stupid movie that stared Hanoijane..
Evening, all. Back from getting some work done on the van. I had a free auto-service chit that I won at the church festival raffle.
“Big year in England, I think.”
The year Soft Cheese arrived for the first time on the shores of the island.
Oh, the loading them in is okay. It's the unloading of them from the spreader that can get a little messy.
That does seem awkward.
Contrary to their own opinions, perhaps, they are not the salt of the earth.
Not much good at melting ice off the roads, probably.
Especially after they’ve gone through the spreader.
Hopefully they would wake up first.
Easier than pulling yourself together afterwards.
“Screaming speed bumps”
I got the Dell packed up and labeled so it’s ready for tomorrow’s pickup. I’m excited, just because the sooner it goes, the sooner it will come back.
This one is not to be trusted...
I’m ready for bed, and though I want something to eat, I don’t know what I want. I have no TV dinners, and I don’t want to go anywhere, even though a Wendy’s cheeseburger sounds really good!
Congratulations on your free auto-service chit! Some days, it pays to buy a raffle ticket!
And this looks like the end for me. I’ve felt slightly “off” all day, and had I not had things to take care of, I may have gone to bed before noon.
The clothes are almost dry, and that’s a good thing, as I can put them away shortly after I get up I the morning. So for now, I’m outta here!
Sweet dreams, everyone!
Screaming Speed Bumps ,Batman! Did you hear that?
Careful....your laptop is reading your innermost thoughts as you type.
And that man in the gabardine suit? His bow tie is really a camera.
I hope you have an excellent night!
1968,
Doesn’t time fly...
Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said, “Be careful, his bow tie is really a cameraâ€
“Jaywalkers” and “pedestrians” in the common tongue.
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