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Best helicopter door gunner of all time goes to heaven
3/23/2015 | My Brother in Law

Posted on 03/23/2015 6:42:41 PM PDT by llevrok

The “Best helicopter door gunner of all time” died and went to heaven. St. Peter greeted him there and said “Welcome to heaven! Your terminal assignment orders indicate you were the best door gunner in human history and did wonderful things for your fellow crew members, your unit, and your country your entire life. For that reason I am authorized to let you choose in which part of heaven you would like to spend eternity.”

“Well”, the gunner said, “I’d love to bunk somewhere where I will never see another helicopter pilot – they are loud, contemptible, and generally a pain in the ass, and I don’t want to see, hear, or have to deal with one ever again!”

“No problem, Specialist!” St. Peter replied. “We don’t get too many helicopter pilots up here anyway, but just to be sure, I have the perfect place for you – a deserted tropical island where you will never be bothered by them”.

The gunner floated off to his island paradise, a happy lad. But about 1 week later he was back at the pearly gates, demanding to see St. Peter. “What’s wrong?” St. Peter asked.

“Well” said the gunner, “You said I would never have to deal with a helicopter pilot again. But, as I was walking along the beach this morning, I looked up and there, swaggering towards me, was this obnoxious looking fellow wearing a flight suit, sporting a sidearm and a 16-function wrist watch, with a girl on each arm, and telling war stories that all started with “There I was….”

St. Peter appeared puzzled and said “Let me check something” then queried his computer to determine the recent whereabouts of the only two helicopter pilots in Heaven. He wasn’t coming up with any answers when finally it dawned on him…. “Oh, that wasn’t a helicopter pilot you saw this morning… that was God! – Sometimes he likes to dress up and pretend he's a helicopter pilot.”


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: helicopter; military; pilots
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My brother in law, who flew two helicopter tours in Vietnam, sent me this. Worth sharing with our aviation FRiends out there...
1 posted on 03/23/2015 6:42:41 PM PDT by llevrok
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To: llevrok

It needs to say ...” to impress women”. At the end.


2 posted on 03/23/2015 6:49:27 PM PDT by teeman8r (Armageddon won't be pretty, but it's not like it's the end of the world.)
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To: llevrok

I have never met a door gunner of the Vietnam war that didn’t love the job.

http://nam-cav.blogspot.com/2012/04/vietnam-from-door-gun-door-gunners-were.html


3 posted on 03/23/2015 6:52:35 PM PDT by ansel12 (Palin--Mr President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.)
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To: llevrok; Kenny Bunk
But how, in your twisted mind, could you possibly fire on Jihadists who are RUNNING AWAY from the chopper?

"Hmm. Well I suppose I lead 'em a little more!"
4 posted on 03/23/2015 6:52:39 PM PDT by golux
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To: llevrok
Maybe my worst 4 years in the Army, 9ID AVN unit, 268 AHB.

Border Star 85 @ Ft Bliss went to the pilot's tent to check on a dead generator. Stripped off my BDU top to work on it, found the problem and went into the tent to tell my BMO (ex Armored Cav pilot) that I was going for the parts.

One of his rotorhead buddies said "Hey, Sergeant, you're out of uniform!" I said "Yes, sir! As soon as I find the flight surgeon I'll have him surgically attach a cot to my back."

5 posted on 03/23/2015 6:53:46 PM PDT by Feckless (The US Gubbmint / This Tagline CENSORED by FR \ IrOnic, ain't it?)
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To: llevrok

Rip Gunner.. We needed you there!!!


6 posted on 03/23/2015 6:56:02 PM PDT by tallyhoe
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To: llevrok

It’s no wonder. One brother and my uncle were chopper pilots. Now I know why they strut around so much.


7 posted on 03/23/2015 7:01:28 PM PDT by SkyDancer (I Was Told Nobody Is Perfect But Yet, Here I Am ...)
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To: SkyDancer

8 posted on 03/23/2015 7:10:52 PM PDT by Rodamala
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To: ansel12

I worked with a guy who’d done 3 tours as a door gunner and “liked it”...

Up until Tet.....That’s when he decided it was time to come home.


9 posted on 03/23/2015 7:19:52 PM PDT by G Larry (Obama Hates America, Israel, Capitalism, Freedom, and Christianity.)
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To: llevrok
I was trained as an avionics mechanic but door-gunned on an UH-1D for awhile with A Troop, 1st Sqdn, 9th Cav, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile) at Song Be, RSV many moons ago.

19 year olds do crazy stuff, but it was an awesome and exhilarating experience. Hats off to the grunts we inserted and brought out, they were the real heroes.

"1st Team, Sir!"

10 posted on 03/23/2015 7:31:15 PM PDT by PROCON (Always Give 100% --- Unless you're donating blood.)
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To: PROCON

Bookmark


11 posted on 03/23/2015 7:32:15 PM PDT by publius911 (If you like Obamacare, You'll LOVE ObamaWeb.)
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To: llevrok; doorgunner69

Doorgunner,

This ones for you!

ROFLMAO


12 posted on 03/23/2015 7:41:30 PM PDT by WildHighlander57 ((WildHighlander57, returning after lurking since 2000)
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To: Feckless
LOL!

Bet that left a mark...

13 posted on 03/23/2015 7:52:02 PM PDT by kiryandil (making the jests that some FReepers aren't allowed to...)
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To: PROCON

Door gunner on OH-58’s. B 2/17Cav 101ABN. 1981 when I was 19. Yes, we did that.


14 posted on 03/23/2015 8:08:10 PM PDT by ebshumidors
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To: ebshumidors

I was in an OH-6A at 300 feet, coming into the flight line when it had a tail rotor failure, great pilot skills kept us alive, crash landed with broken left skid and tail section collapse but we walked away with only wet pants.


15 posted on 03/23/2015 8:15:46 PM PDT by PROCON (Always Give 100% --- Unless you're donating blood.)
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To: llevrok
Most all the CH-46 pilots seemed to be decent guys. Did not interact with us too much, usually just the crew chief. They had a humbling job and got scared a lot.

Was not a gunner for them, but the Huey gunship pilots did seem to think they were hot. Was around them at out forward rearming pad up at LZ Stud. The army guys that came in sporadically were the worst. Marine pilots were just eager beavers.

16 posted on 03/23/2015 8:22:23 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: doorgunner69
because somebody has to ping you...
17 posted on 03/23/2015 8:47:31 PM PDT by null and void (Liberal logic: 18 1/2 minutes of blank tape is a big deal but 30,000 missing emails is not.)
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To: WildHighlander57

Dang. Missed your ping.

Carry on...


18 posted on 03/23/2015 8:48:41 PM PDT by null and void (Liberal logic: 18 1/2 minutes of blank tape is a big deal but 30,000 missing emails is not.)
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To: llevrok

Awesome.My buddy has a Huey that we will be working on to get it airworthy.I am hunting up all the mounts for the 60s to put her back in gunship config.She will be in her correct markings during her combat tours as well.


19 posted on 03/23/2015 9:56:58 PM PDT by HANG THE EXPENSE (Life's tough.It's tougher when you're stupid.)
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To: kiryandil

Same exercise I got into it with a CW4 about who’s job it was to crank his generator. He said “Do you know what rank I am?” and I replied “Yes, sir, you’re a SP/5 with a helicopter license.”


20 posted on 03/24/2015 4:39:50 AM PDT by Feckless (The US Gubbmint / This Tagline CENSORED by FR \ IrOnic, ain't it?)
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