My favorite Tee shirt
Posted on 04/30/2013 12:34:36 PM PDT by Vendome
Okay, Okay. I've come to terms with myself and at great risk, I have announcement to make:
In these times of denial of oneself and suppression of your identity, it has become apparent that I must take a stand and being a man of convictions, not wanting anymore ambiguity in my life and to clear any confusion, least my life be co-opted by the homosexual lobby I am declaring my love for all things women(cept that talking on and on forever about what I don't know and the hugging afterward when I just want to go to sleep).
I Am A Heterosexual!
Yep, don't be surprised. I am guessing a good many of you knew this already but, there it is.
I don't find men attractive in any way shape or form. Not that there would be anything wrong that....
I know some of you may judge me harshly due to your convictions and sense of moral superiority, perhaps because of your spiritual enlightenment and I'm okay with that.
I will say that there have been times, in the middle of an argument with my girlfriend, I wished she was a man so I could end the idiocy being spewed. But, that just wouldn't be sporting, fair and besides, It's just plain gross.
I'll take the ear piercing shrills of the softer part of man over a hairy nipple anyday. Well, I'll clarify: there have been some pretty hot European women who needed to shave and I was attracted to them, for a moment.
Still, my Hetero identity and American snobbery won out and I never ventured relations with Bruna.
So, flame suit on. Excoriate me if you must but, I know who I am.
PS Laz, you are my hero but, that's as far as our bromance will ever go.
I like hips, lips and @#4ts...
Shoulduh thought of it 1st.
Now you’ll just look like you are trying to get attention of maybe a spot on football team as a place kicker.
I had a feeling...
>> Excoriate me if you must
No thanks!!!
Anyway, I thought the whole point of your vanity was to explain how you weren’t into that. Now you *are* into it? I’m confused.
WHORE! It was only once and Humblegunner lied about being married...how was I to know?
/slapfight
It isn’t about who we were born as but who we feel we are..... therefore......I’m Batman.
What difference does it make?
I don’t know how I survived this long, not knowing what you do in bed. I can relax now.
Oh, can I say that you are a good friend of mine? You know, “I have good friends who are straight,” kind of thing? It helps me look cool.
>> the mechanics of my sexual preferences... Might this be an appropriate venue?
Probably not; why would we care who fixes their cars?
Hey, I didn’t give you no details about what I do in bed.
Maybe I like to just lay on my back staring....
Only Subaru Forresters....
Are you also white and somewhat mediocre at your job?
I just want FR to start working normally again. I have simple needs.
I’m proud of you!!! It takes a lot of courage these days to come out like you have!!
What a beautiful announcement. ESPN welcomes your courage.
-PJ
omg.. I was supposed to be sounding out ‘ven-dough-may’ in my head all this time? [redneck blush]
Waitaminnit... what kind of straight guy goes by Vendoughmay all this time?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.