***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

1 posted on 04/26/2013 5:47:59 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

2 posted on 04/26/2013 5:49:05 AM PDT by Old Sarge (My "KMA List" is growing daily...)

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

I'M FLATTERED

YA'LL LIKE MY

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

3 posted on 04/26/2013 5:49:22 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)

Wooooohooooooooo top 10!

4 posted on 04/26/2013 5:50:17 AM PDT by rockabyebaby (We are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo screwed!)

5 posted on 04/26/2013 5:50:25 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)

6 posted on 04/26/2013 5:51:08 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 ("The British are Coming (to confiscate weapons)" - Paul Revere (We know how that ended))

7 posted on 04/26/2013 5:52:20 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq He could sure play that axe. RIP anymore, it's about the USA!)

That will never work, you stupid git!!!

8 posted on 04/26/2013 5:52:23 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)

9 posted on 04/26/2013 5:52:46 AM PDT by Old Sarge (My "KMA List" is growing daily...)

WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
TGIF!

10 posted on 04/26/2013 5:53:26 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)

reminds me of McCain during the debates of 2008

11 posted on 04/26/2013 5:53:33 AM PDT by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))

12 posted on 04/26/2013 5:53:33 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)

13 posted on 04/26/2013 5:53:44 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)

To: rockabyebaby

Jimmy McMillan "Rent Is Too Damn High" Anthem (YouTube)

If I lived in NY, I'd vote for him.

14 posted on 04/26/2013 5:54:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)

Top ten.

Happy Friday!!!

15 posted on 04/26/2013 5:55:24 AM PDT by moviefan8

WTF??? HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court,... word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.See More

16 posted on 04/26/2013 5:56:03 AM PDT by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq He could sure play that axe. RIP anymore, it's about the USA!)

17 posted on 04/26/2013 5:56:53 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)

18 posted on 04/26/2013 5:57:06 AM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)

19 posted on 04/26/2013 5:58:56 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)

20 posted on 04/26/2013 6:00:05 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)

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