Go For Broke Day
When : Always Apil 5th
Posted on 04/05/2013 5:16:03 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
When : Always Apil 5th
Are you a gambler? Then, today, is your day. It's Go For Broke Day. Today is a day to put it all on the line, and take a chance. It might be money. Or, it can be a love relationship. Perhaps, it's time to initiate a risky project, or to take a new job.
Many of us go about our daily lives playing it safe, not taking big chances. If you are of a conservative ilk, you may have never gone out on a limb, or taken big risks. If this sounds like you, maybe today is a day to really let loose and "Go for Broke".
If you can muster up the courage to take a big risk, you can enjoy today by taking big risks and "Going for Broke". We will leave it up to you to decide whether the risk is worth taking.
Former President George Bush has invited President Obama to the opening of his presidential library later this month. President Obama said he's looking forward to going through the library to see if there was anything else he could blame Bush for. ~ Jay Leno
The White House has now put together a website for kids. It's a website to teach kids how to manage a budget responsibly. The website is called "Irony.gov." ~ David Letterman
The Associated Press, the largest newsgathering outlet in the world, will no longer use the term "illegal immigrant." That is out. They will now use the phrase "undocumented Democrat." ~ Jay Leno
Yesterday President Obama shot baskets at the White House and made only two shots out of 22. Even Dick Cheney was like, “That guy needs to learn how to shoot.” ~ Jimmy Fallon
President Obama went only two for 22. It’s tough times for Obama — one minute, he’s asking Congress to raise the debt ceiling; the next, he’s asking them to lower the hoop. ~ Jimmy Fallon
Today President Obama asked Congress for $100 million to map the human brain. And believe me, if anybody needs a map to find their brain, it’s Congress. ~ Jay Leno
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano — the person in charge of our national security — recently said she doesn’t email, text, or tweet. So remember: If you see something, say something — because there’s literally no other way she’ll get the message. ~ Jimmy Fallon
Everybody’s still talking about March Madness, and it turns out that President Obama has correctly predicted 11 of the Sweet 16 teams. When Joe Biden was asked about his Sweet 16, he said, “It was great — I had a petting zoo and a clown."
NO Speak English
A Russian woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town.
The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
What were you Thinking?
Her husband speaks English... hellooo!
I-D-L-E
IRISH LOGIC
An old Irishman was asked, “At your ripe old age, which would you prefer to get – Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?”
The Irishman replied, “Definitely Parkinson’s! Better to spill half an ounce of whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!”
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right... ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree,
but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same
as your brother’s...... Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
___________________________________________
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard. Bites!
___________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
________________________________________________
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
_______________________________________________________
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
________________________________________________________
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
_____________________________________________________________
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
___________________________________________________________
And the WINNER is...
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,
45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
(Statement of the Century)
___________________________________________________________
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker—Billy Connolly.
“If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”
Dogs vs Cats
http://youtu.be/hKNfnQneQVM
Appear
bflr
Apparently, I somehow failed to appropriately apprehend the appearance of at least one other word ...
How could that BE ???
21stCenturion
Rude is in a diagonal.
... at least TWO other words ...
BTW: I won’t count ‘pear’, as an earlier post claimed, since it occurs in natural order within ‘appear’. ‘red’ and ‘now’, OTOH, do NOT appear so within ‘wonder’ — I found ‘em fair and square BEFORE I noted ‘wonder’ and I’m-ah gonna keep ‘em.
21stCenturion
tests
Good one! Wonder where our boas are made....Africa? Hope you’re having a great day!
NAD.
Course I am a nut, so its no surprise I saw that.
Y
O
W
That hurts a little.
We may have to skip the boas in that case, LOL!
Yes, all is well here, thank you.
How’s it going?
Noisulli.
Going okay here, too, thanks. Take ‘er easy, FRiend.
Top 100??? ;)
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