Real party animal: Lab tech found drunk with his pants down as monkeys run loose: police

NY Daily News ^ | August 21, 2012 | Anthony Bartkewicz

[rightwingintelligentsia]

No animals were harmed during Coley Mitchell’s one-man party in a science lab locker room.

Two monkeys were out of their cages when cops found Mitchell at Georgia Health Sciences University in Augusta last week, WJBF-TV reported, but veterinarians said they were fine.

Mitchell, however, was intoxicated and sitting in a chair with his pants down, according to a police report.

Cops said he was uncooperative and aggressive when they asked him to zip up and leave the lab.

The 32-year-old technician was charged with public drunkenness and booked into Richmond County Jail.

[musicman]

[ruesrose]

GHSU was formerly the world renowned Medical College of Georgia. That was before the tyranical Dr. Rickardo Aziz (Dr. Disease behind his back) Spent about a million bucks getting the name changed to Georgia Health Sciences University, or GHSU.
Then GHSU merged with Augusta University and the tyrant worked behind the scenes to convince the Board of Regents to change it once again to Georgia Regents University or GRU for short which is also short for grusome.
There will be another large outlay of funds unless the current protests succeed in getting the name changed to something the 90% who hate the GRU name can live with.

As a side note, I wonder how many of the members of the BoR actually have college degrees? I think the appointment may have a little something to do with $$$$ donations.
Two BoR members have already resigned because they don’t like the name either.

[Billthedrill]

I have an alibi.

[ClearCase_guy]

H.P. Lovecraft wrote a little story called “Arthur Jermyn” which explores the unsavory genetic heritage of the descendant of a twisted African explorer. I will say no more.

[onyx]

DONATE

[Joe 6-pack]

“No animals were harmed during Coley Mitchell’s one-man party...”

I'm guessing there was at least one spanked monkey, but they normally recover from that in short order.

[penelopesire]

Eeewwww....there is a picture of him at the link. Why oh why did I click on the link? Now I am going to have nightmares. Think of the poor women that have ever dated him....lol.

[Joe 6-pack]

Picture of the perp...

[blueunicorn6]

Just warming up for Barney Frank’s farewell party.

[KoRn]

Sounds like a fun time was had by all.

[rightwingintelligentsia]

I was wondering when someone would bring up spanking . . .

[Slings and Arrows]

I blame the monkeys.

[BenLurkin]

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/monkeys.wav

[beethovenfan]

Did he spank the monkey?

[goseminoles]

Im sure he did. There was no chicken to choke.

[Darksheare]

*Singing, terribly*

“Hey hey, we’re the Monkeees!”

[jimmyo57]

Reminds me of a joke in my Navy days. (I’ll make it brief) A Chief takes a young Ensign to a bar in Singapore and says you want to see somethin” cool? The Ensigns says yes. The Chief whistles a monkey jumps on their table, the Chief beats the hell out of the monkey, the monkey goes wild, runs around the bar then returns to the Chief, unzips his fly and gives him oral pleasure. This happens several times then the Chief say s to the Ensign, “You wanna try it?” The Ensign replies “Sure, just don’t beat me up so hard!”

[TigersEye]

Coley Mitchell was uncooperative when police showed up to see what was going on, reports say. The monkeys, reportedly, were unharmed showed officers where Mitchell kept his stash of monkey porn, dried banana peels and smoking paraphernalia before sitting quietly and filling out complaint forms.

[Slings and Arrows]

> “Hey hey, we’re the Monkeees!”

Somebody brought a shovel?

[dfwgator]

Don't we all work with a bunch of monkeys?