Posted on 07/17/2012 5:22:20 AM PDT by Kaslin
Dudes, if you want to destroy your marriage say and do the following.
1. When busted flirting with another woman say, “Honey, I don’t like her. I’m just chatting with her on facebook.”
2. After she unloads her heart to you, lower your Guns & Ammo magazine and say, “I’m sorry. What were you talking about?”
3. Act like a shriveled hamster during difficult times and say, “Sometimes, I feel so scared and so alone.”
4. Hit her with this one… “Now listen babe. I know our son needs brain surgery but this bear hunt is the opportunity of a lifetime.”
5. After you down a beer yell, “Get me a beer, dammit. Beer and cheetos woman. Don’t make me whip you.”
6. Fart at the dinner table.
7. Tell your wife you go to Hooters for the chicken wings.
8. Scream at her in a loud voice, “You’re not my mother.” And then demand she give you back the Playstation controls!
9. When down and out tell your lady that you think Obama’s food stamp program is the solution.
10. And finally, try suggesting to your 45-year-old wife that. “With new boobs, liposuction on her gut, butt, neck and arms and her doing a little something about her stretch marks she could look just like Miley Cyrus!”
I agree. I love book stores, too. It’s also hard to get me away from the makeup department and from the inside of a Michael’s craft store. I collect Lang coffee mugs, so I like cruising for them, as well.
My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years, so I don’t insist on his accompaniment on such outings. Why inflict pain on him, LOL? Naturally he wouldn’t enjoy any of it, anymore than I love being along while he browses for electronic stuff or for Jeep equipment/accessories.
Perhaps she want to know what Men (as opposed to boy-buggering faggots) find attractive.
I don’t know if all men are like this, but there is shopping and there is shopping. For instance:
If I go to the auto parts store, I don’t have to pick up, look at and handle every fuel pump they have. But my wife does have to pick up, handle, and look at every purse in the store when she goes shopping.
She goes shopping to look, I shop to get in and out as quickly as possible.
Hey you had your turn in the last column, now it’s our turn
Hmmm
It’s not comparable. If your wife was buying a fuel pump, I expect she would just pick up the one suitable for her car, too ... perhaps after calling ahead to make sure they have it in stock. (I always call ahead if it’s important to get a specific item - my husband never does.)
But more to the point, that’s you or her, or it’s me or my daughter or son. Generalizing it to apply to whole groups of people is tendentious, intended to “prove” a prejudice, not make a useful observation.
LOL! I had to google Jean Paul Gaultier ... “the designer’s ideal of the fluidity of the sexes” doesn’t sound like anything that would ever have applied to my father!
My husband is supposed to tell me if what I’m wearing is wrong-side-out, backwards, stained, or not mine. (”Isn’t that Bill’s shirt?” “Oh, that’s why it doesn’t fit!”) I haven’t had much sleep the last couple of decades, so somebody has to stop me walking out the door in Sally’s pants wrongside out and backwards, plus one black shoe and one brown shoe!
LOL
I see your point, and as a non-feminist, I believe that’s natural and healthy. But if I want to know what my husband finds attractive, I’ll usually try something on and model it for him. His eye will go to how a high heel shapes my leg or how a dress flatters my figure. Asking him if this bag goes with these shoes, well....that just doesn’t fall into the same category, IMO.
Well, I seemed to have learned some things over the years. We have been married twenty.....(let’s see, 2012 minus 1990) that’s 22 years and here’s some of those things:
When we go anywhere in the car, in 5 minutes she’ll be asleep. If she’s not asleep, she’ll want to talk until I turn off the stereo then she gets quiet. If I turn the stereo back on, she wants to talk.
Within 10 minutes she has to go potty. We know the location of every restroom in every store that we frequent.
Her incessant chatter is a female thing, but when I (infrequently) start talking cars with a friend I talk too much.
The house is NEVER clean enough.
When we watch a movie together, she asks me constantly what is happening as she doesn’t seem to be able to follow the plot.
But most important, I LOVE HER AND CAN’T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER. All those things make life fun.
I agree - my husband will tell me that a new outfit “looks good,” but he wouldn’t notice if I was wearing shoes or earrings that didn’t go with the dress. I rely on my girlfriends, or occasionally my daughters, to appreciate correct accessorizing.
Der Prinz and I have been married since 1989. I’m sure each of us could make a list of that nature about the other, and that they would be almost totally different from the lists you and your wife would make.
Surely it ought to go without saying, for conservatives, that putting people into boxes based on sex, race, class, or any other factors is pernicious and unAmerican.
Right. I might worry if my husband said my earrings really didn’t set off my outfit that well, LOL.
It’s not what they notice, as a rule ;-). My husband has given me a few pieces of jewelry, and sometimes he notices if I’m wearing one. Other than that, “looks nice” is good enough, although I like some recognition that I’ve made an effort with clothes, hair, makeup, jewelry, as opposed to, “Yeah, boobs!”
You know it’s time to get married when you’re comfortable enough with her to fart in her presence, and she doesn’t complain.
Oh...Don’t get me wrong, they complain plenty. You’ve got to be tough enough to take a slug or two. It’s a dangerous dark art.
LOL!
I can tell usually what looks good on a woman..style of dress, shirt ..more based on fit cues but totally clueless on colors or any accessory such as shoes, purses or jewelery. I do know tennis shoes don't fit with an evening gown but that is the extent of it.
LOL!
Yeah, the fit is what most guys notice, LOL.
But hey, at least you know about the sneakers and evening gown...I think some women are wearing flip flops with them now.
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