Posted on 07/17/2012 5:22:20 AM PDT by Kaslin
Dudes, if you want to destroy your marriage say and do the following.
1. When busted flirting with another woman say, “Honey, I don’t like her. I’m just chatting with her on facebook.”
2. After she unloads her heart to you, lower your Guns & Ammo magazine and say, “I’m sorry. What were you talking about?”
3. Act like a shriveled hamster during difficult times and say, “Sometimes, I feel so scared and so alone.”
4. Hit her with this one… “Now listen babe. I know our son needs brain surgery but this bear hunt is the opportunity of a lifetime.”
5. After you down a beer yell, “Get me a beer, dammit. Beer and cheetos woman. Don’t make me whip you.”
6. Fart at the dinner table.
7. Tell your wife you go to Hooters for the chicken wings.
8. Scream at her in a loud voice, “You’re not my mother.” And then demand she give you back the Playstation controls!
9. When down and out tell your lady that you think Obama’s food stamp program is the solution.
10. And finally, try suggesting to your 45-year-old wife that. “With new boobs, liposuction on her gut, butt, neck and arms and her doing a little something about her stretch marks she could look just like Miley Cyrus!”
My wife teases me because when an attractive woman is with a dog - I am usually looking down at the dog.
“Did you see that hot redhead?” she asks.
“The one with the white boxer?” I reply.
Hey - I might actually get to PET the dog!
We summarize this phenomenon as “Did you check out the Mastiff on that woman?”
It's hard to tell. My impression of this author is that he probably means the reader to come away with the impression that any dissatisfaction of women is really not that big a deal. Since most of the comments are against women, we might conclude that's what the author intended.
All Mr. Giles's recent pieces seem to be self-parody, whether conscious or un-, but this one is more like "... parody of myself writing a parody of someone else's attempt at humorous exaggeration. If you find my point, please send a postcard."
Sorry, I'm not buying that (pun intended). Running shoes, multiple pairs. Sailing shoes, multiple pairs. Other-water-sports shoes, multiple pairs. Hiking shoes/boots, multiple pairs. "Sport sandals," multiple pairs. Shoes for work and "I thought we were going out to dinner, but if you want to go to the gym instead, I'll stay home and watch tv with the kids, do some wash."
And maybe shopping is not a sport, but shopping for sports is a major economic factor. There is a reason the running magazines (sailing magazines, other-workout magazines, travel magazines, music magazines) are filled with articles, reports, tests, and ads for the perfect "gear." The reason is that men like to spend money on themselves at least as much as women do. Calling it "gearing up" instead of "shopping" doesn't change the nature of the activity.
Show me a man that spends a sizable percentage of the family budget on household "decoration" and I'll concede the point to you.
When a woman asks a guy which dress they prefer, the guy immediately thinks, “Ok, I’ve got a 50-50 chance of getting this right.”
I won’t deny that... and some women cheat without “cheating”. They may not physically get involved with someone else, but will get emotionally involved.
I just get tired of the villified male, I’ve seen guys put up with way more crap than any person should for a woman they love, and I know the street goes both ways.
I just get tired of men getting bashed, women are no saints. Gone are the days when the woman was dependent on her man, and would never think of straying. Its a two way street, after all, those cheating guys are cheating with someone.
“1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.”
I do this all the time. She hates when it happens but knows it is going to happen. She asks anyway. I act like nothing is wrong.
The only one I have is, Friday night is boys night out. Saturday night is date night. This is non-negotiable.
Been doing that for 22 years.
I am curious as to what made your list of things for which you were honest with her.
Same holds true for a leftist friend. Tell them the truth about something that disagrees with their opinion and you have lost a friend. But, it is so worth it.
LOL, yep
Good times
My husband owns more than three pairs of shoes, but most of them sit in the boxes and never see use, LOL.
Good point about the shopping. If I take my husband with me into a grocery store or a mall, he immediately adopts a slightly pained expression and starts walking so fast he’s almost tilting forward so he can get out quickly. But when it comes to looking at electronics, well then.....!
Geez, that’s the next one I would have posted.
Hooters? seriously? this is what the article comes up with?
greasy, slimmy unsanitary restaurant kitchen “food”?
Where the watresses always whine for sympathy tips and foam padding comes with the shorts and t-shirt? (for those in rio linda, the braziers are padded)
This whole article is questionable.
So the man put the “whatever” magazine down and asked he to repeat her stresses. Seems like someone was paying attention.
It must be bash men month.
I think everyone has some things that they like to shop for. My dad liked to buy suits, and could happily spend hours in Brooks Brothers or Barney’s. My husband and son go to Guitar Center to hang out, even if they don’t really “need” any more guitary-things right now ... and who’da thunkit, they usually find something to buy.
I like the used book store and The Salvation Army on half-price day, and the super-markdown lists on the Ignatius Press and Motherwear websites.
After almost 23 years, my wife was recently able to totally disrupt my train of thought and immediately acquire my undivided attention with five simple words.
"Honey, where's the belt sander?"
Brooks Brothers is good.
John Paul Gautier catalogue BAD.
You don’t have his and hers belt sanders?
strange.
Yes, until a woman abuses them for being that way. Once or twice burned and they realize that nice guys finish last. Sometimes women turn Princes into Frogs.
We only have the one. Same for the radial arm saw, which she has a brief, but relatively violent history with.
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