A toilet as smart as its occupant

Jewish World Review ^ | 11/08/2011 | Dale McFeatters

[Former Fetus]

Slowly but steadily I am being left behind by modern consumer technology. With perseverance and trial and error I can work a TV remote, but I am at a total loss when confronted with a whole tray full of them on the coffee table in front of the big-screen TV and its assorted little electronic friends.

In spite of the fact that I could manage only minimal functions on my old cell phone -- make calls and, with a little luck, sometimes answer them, and once I took a photo but I don't remember how -- the family decided I needed a newer, sleeker one.

--SNIP--

Kohler, outfitter to America's bathrooms, is coming out with a high-tech toilet called the Numi. (Excuse me, but "I have to go Numi" sounds too much like baby talk.) The Numi sells for $6,400, a lot when you consider you can't drive it to work, although that day may be coming.

[Former Fetus]

LOL! A must-read for those of us who are technologically-challenged!

[freebilly]

You might use a toilet, but you generally wouldn’t be the occupant of one....

[NonValueAdded]

A toilet as smart as its occupant can be found in the rest rooms of the Democratic Cloakroom in the US Capitol.

[cuban leaf]

You don't know how to use the three shells?!

[grobdriver]

Or, if you insist on personally taking control of the flush, there are two icons, showing a small swirl and a big swirl, clockwise if it really matters to you.

I guess they have given up on their Australian, South American, etc. customers... or maybe there will be an "export" version for those South of the equator.

[N. Theknow]

You don't know how to use the three shells?!

Always found this a lot like the old "Chuck Norris Toilet Paper" joke.

Rough as Hell and won't take $hit off anyone.

[SMARTY]

“A toilet as smart as its occupant”

Before I read this, is this an article about Congress?

[jmcenanly]

I am generally wary of devices where it takes longer to read the instructions than to use. I hope there is some sort of back-up in case of a power failure

[N. Theknow]

The Numi has a built-in FM radio and stereo speakers and a connection for an MP3 player, meaning if you have a teenage daughter you are never going to get her out of the bathroom. Men, who grow immersed in Sports Illustrated or Playboy and lose track of time, might be convinced to speed up the process

What?!?

No mention of FReeping with an iPad or smartphone whilst throning?

Sports Illustrated? Yeck!

[SampleMan]

The OWS toilets are already as smart as their occupants.

[TheOldLady]

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[NerdDad]

MEN: For heaven’s sake, whatever you do... NEVER EVER EVER press the ATR button.

[NerdDad]

Using best Ron White voice... “Is that cake?”

[NerdDad]

Ahem..

[Slings and Arrows]

The Numi sells for $6,400, a lot when you consider you can't drive it to work, although that day may be coming.

---

[Darksheare]

In New York that’s not saying much.

[Slings and Arrows]

*rimshot*

[Titan Magroyne]

FTA: “When it senses someone coming, the toilet seat gently rises and then lowers itself on departure, solving a problem that has bedeviled male-female relations at least as far back as the invention of the outhouse.”

Wow. I can see this contraption bedeviling my kitty, as she is in the habit of using the seat as a step between floor and counter where water and food are.

The one (accidental) dunking resulted in a scathing look of betrayal that I never wanted to earn again, LOL.

[martin_fierro]

Best damn terlet EVAH.