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Lazamataz Vows Celibacy
By Lazamataz
Posted on 04/01/2011 4:57:48 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Yes, everyone. You have heard me correctly. I have come to realize that casual sex with various women is sinful and wrong. It is lustful and lascivious, and I have decided that in my turn towards rightous living, that I must stop 'Hitting It'.
Expect no more comments of 'I'd hit it'. Expect no more flirting with cute freeperettes. Expect no more comments about pretty women's pictures.
Women have become more than sex objects to me. They are whole and wholesome Children of God, and I have come to the understanding that to treat them as amusement parks is degrading to both them and me.
TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazwouldnothitit; napl; narcissus; waitwhat
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: TSgt
Sorry Helen, I cannot continue our sordid relationship.
21
posted on
04/01/2011 5:07:49 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
To: airborne
I wouldn't have hit that even when I was a sex maniac, but now, all I'd be willing to do with this woman is go for frozen custard.
I might get daring and try some sprinkles on mine.
22
posted on
04/01/2011 5:08:57 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
To: airborne
23
posted on
04/01/2011 5:09:43 AM PDT
by
rj45mis
To: Lazamataz
Expect no more comments of 'I'd hit it'. Expect no more flirting with cute freeperettes. Expect no more comments about pretty women's pictures. You're dead to me.
24
posted on
04/01/2011 5:09:49 AM PDT
by
Pan_Yan
To: brewcrew
Huh? HUH?You read me correctly. It's long past due, too.
25
posted on
04/01/2011 5:09:49 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
To: Pan_Yan
I’m sorry, Pan Yan, but you will get used to the new, sexless Laz.
26
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:02 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
To: Lazamataz
I am not fooled. I saw what happened late yesterday. Should I mention what I saw? No, but I saw what happened.
27
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:10 AM PDT
by
no-to-illegals
(Please God, Bless and Protect Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
To: Lazamataz
28
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:17 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet - Visualize)
To: humblegunner
29
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:28 AM PDT
by
expatguy
(Support "An American Expat in Southeast Asia" - DONATE)
To: Lazamataz
"Lazamataz Vows Celibacy"
The world is a sadder place today.
You were our hope, our guiding light, our, dare I say it, our prayer for vicarious sex with the wonderful wanton women of the world wide web.
Please, get counseling, get help, a little Viagra perhaps!?!?
Laz, say it ain't so!
30
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:30 AM PDT
by
MindBender26
(While the MSM slept.... we have become relevant media in Ameirca.)
To: no-to-illegals
That was yesterday. Today is today. A man can change.
31
posted on
04/01/2011 5:11:55 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
To: Lazamataz
Testing, testing ...
To: TSgt
My God! You CAN put lipstick on a pig!!
33
posted on
04/01/2011 5:12:36 AM PDT
by
PzLdr
("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
To: Lazamataz
Welcome to the “posting responsibly” club. ;-)
34
posted on
04/01/2011 5:12:46 AM PDT
by
sauropod
(The truth shall make you free but first it will make you miserable.)
To: Lazamataz
The key to a good April Fool's joke is to make it at least marginally believable.
FAIL
35
posted on
04/01/2011 5:13:04 AM PDT
by
kevkrom
("Winning The Future" = WTF = What The F*** / "Kinetic Military Action" = KMA = Kiss My A**)
To: Lazamataz
Okay, who put the pods in Laz’s cellar?!
36
posted on
04/01/2011 5:13:40 AM PDT
by
mewzilla
(Were members of both political parties in on the Lockerbie bomber deal?)
To: Lazamataz
37
posted on
04/01/2011 5:14:04 AM PDT
by
Lees Swrd
("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
To: Lazamataz; Big Giant Head
What about pinging? I hope you’re not giving that up, too?
38
posted on
04/01/2011 5:16:16 AM PDT
by
Marie Antoinette
(Proud Clinton-hater since 1998.)
To: airborne
Man that jelly looks awful good what brand is it Lmao.
39
posted on
04/01/2011 5:16:24 AM PDT
by
Lees Swrd
("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
To: MindBender26
It’s true, dude. It’s well past time for me to grow up.
40
posted on
04/01/2011 5:16:38 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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