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Lazamataz Vows Celibacy
By Lazamataz
Posted on 04/01/2011 4:57:48 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Yes, everyone. You have heard me correctly. I have come to realize that casual sex with various women is sinful and wrong. It is lustful and lascivious, and I have decided that in my turn towards rightous living, that I must stop 'Hitting It'.
Expect no more comments of 'I'd hit it'. Expect no more flirting with cute freeperettes. Expect no more comments about pretty women's pictures.
Women have become more than sex objects to me. They are whole and wholesome Children of God, and I have come to the understanding that to treat them as amusement parks is degrading to both them and me.
TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazwouldnothitit; napl; narcissus; waitwhat
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: Lazamataz
141
posted on
04/01/2011 8:05:40 AM PDT
by
Danae
(Anailnathrach ortha bhais beatha do cheal deanaimha)
To: humblegunner; Lazamataz
APRIL FOOLS DAY....don’t believe it...
To: Lazamataz
143
posted on
04/01/2011 8:11:58 AM PDT
by
RandallFlagg
(Let this chant follow BHO everywhere he goes: "You lie. You lie. You lie.")
To: Lazamataz
Perhaps he will join me in my newfound sexual purity.
__________________________________________________
Perhaps not. After a few hours of trimming the bushes - how could he not ‘Hit It’?
To: central_va
Sorry, a huge wallet trumps all.
What you said.
To: S.O.S121.500
P.S. We always monitor 121.5 enroute. Have helped in real deals twice in 2000 hours. Did you column in Flying last month about bad advice from ground people on 121.5?
Be well.
146
posted on
04/01/2011 8:20:56 AM PDT
by
MindBender26
(While the MSM slept.... we have become relevant media in Ameirca.)
To: Lazamataz
Did you change your tagline? I thought it read something different? Something about the bedroom. Maybe I was wrong. It would not be the first time I have been wrong. I will bet this is a first on the Vow, right? May your Vow never be TheBigOnlyIf, with the little blue pill. Wonderful setup (this thread). You are the Man. Many Thanks for putting up with me and my posts. I shall take a Vow also. Thus I Vow to never doubt Lazamataz ever, unless it is April 1.
147
posted on
04/01/2011 8:42:34 AM PDT
by
no-to-illegals
(Please God, Bless and Protect Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
To: Lazamataz
You found the birth certificate didn’t you?
148
posted on
04/01/2011 8:45:01 AM PDT
by
Rightly Biased
(Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?)
To: Lazamataz
149
posted on
04/01/2011 9:01:16 AM PDT
by
spetznaz
(Nuclear-tipped Ballistic Missiles: The Ultimate Phallic Symbol)
150
posted on
04/01/2011 9:04:30 AM PDT
by
CodeToad
(Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
To: Lazamataz
151
posted on
04/01/2011 9:17:40 AM PDT
by
NormsRevenge
(Semper Fi ... Godspeed .. Monthly Donor Onboard .. Obama: Epic Fail or Bust!!!)
To: Lazamataz
Advanced Dungeons-and-Dragons moderating skills I resemble that remark! (Though, admittedly, I'm more of a 3.5ed guy, although I have my soft spot for 1ed).
152
posted on
04/01/2011 9:38:22 AM PDT
by
kevkrom
("Winning The Future" = WTF = What The F*** / "Kinetic Military Action" = KMA = Kiss My A**)
To: Lazamataz; Jim Robinson; humblegunner; dragnet2
Okay. That’s enough. You’re freakin’ me out. There are few things I depend on at FR.
- JR to always keep the faith and stand strong against the left’s agenda.
- Trolls getting the ZOT when they need zotting.
- humblegunner snacking on blog pimps.
- birther insanity
- dragnet2 b*tching about Texas
- Laz hitting it
You’re upseting my normalcy. Knock it off, Laz.
Tex
153
posted on
04/01/2011 10:04:25 AM PDT
by
BuckeyeTexan
(There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
To: Lazamataz
Growing up can be good. Just don’t lose your sense of humor.
154
posted on
04/01/2011 10:14:42 AM PDT
by
cjshapi
(Proudly posting without a tagline since 2001)
bump for pictures clever, insightful retorts later....
155
posted on
04/01/2011 10:26:49 AM PDT
by
RckyRaCoCo
(I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery, IXNAY THE TSA!)
To: Lazamataz
Given your track record, I assume that this is your opus, even though it was probably scribbled on a cocktail napkin at some lowlife joint at closing time.
As such, I’d have to give it only a gentleman’s C.
Good luck in your new life!
156
posted on
04/01/2011 10:34:47 AM PDT
by
headsonpikes
(Genocide is the highest sacrament of socialism - "Who-whom?")
To: BuckeyeTexan
Hey maybe Laz could come up with a new catchphrase now and then it wont seem quite as abnormal. Instead of his comments going away it could be a process to get used to then.
Maybe from now on Laz could say something like Id respect that every time he sees a beautiful woman. It doesnt have quite the same pizzazz as Id hit that but just think of how much he has matured and grown as a human being.
No dont you feel better looking at it that way?
To: Lazamataz
The ultimate April Fools joke...
158
posted on
04/01/2011 10:47:00 AM PDT
by
GOPJ
(http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/index2.php - It's only uncivil when someone on the right does it.- Laz)
To: TheBigIf; Lazamataz
No. I don’t feel better. Laz is upsetting the universe. He must be punished.
159
posted on
04/01/2011 10:50:16 AM PDT
by
BuckeyeTexan
(There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
To: Lazamataz
hope this does not become the Tiger Woods Redeux...
... Cause Tiger had an o fer 2010 after his sex life hit the air ways......We learned ole Tiger is some horny.
... then those helicopters and shadows at every light and ole Tiger could not have sex cause he would be caught, photo’d and on some video somewhere but
..we learned ole Tiger is some horny.
.. so all ole Tiger could do is have sex with ole Tiger
.. causin him to develop a too tight grip resulting in Tiger , in 2010, to spew balls all over the course , nowhere near the hole.
160
posted on
04/01/2011 10:56:36 AM PDT
by
advertising guy
(.......... I don't crap anymore....... I Kathy Griffin...........)
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