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The Leslie Nielsen random quote generator
The Guardian (UK) ^ | November 29, 2010 | Peter Martin and Chris Moran, quotes chosen by James Anthony

Posted on 12/04/2010 2:39:02 PM PST by EveningStar

Leslie Nielsen, the star of Airplane! and The Naked Gun, has passed away at the age of 84. What better way to honour the king of deadpan than with a collection of his best lines?

(Excerpt) Read more at guardian.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Humor; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: leslienielsen; napl; randomquotegenerator
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To: EveningStar
Mimi Du Jour: Is this some kind of bust? Lt. Frank Drebin (Nielsen): Yes, ma'am, it's very impressive, but we need to ask you a few questions.

Police Squad! In Color! Revenge & Remorse ( A Guilty Alibi ).

21 posted on 12/04/2010 3:09:24 PM PST by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: EveningStar

Not to belittle Bob Hope but I think Leslie Nielsen delivered his lines brilliantly .....


22 posted on 12/04/2010 3:14:08 PM PST by ReverendJames (Only a lawyer and a painter can change black to white)
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To: raccoonradio

LOLOLOLOL!


23 posted on 12/04/2010 3:14:26 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: raccoonradio

Police Squad was a funny show but it had a crappy time slot plus the visual jokes (”here comes the tow truck”—truck
shaped like a toe) may not have worked if people were reading the paper while watching or something. There were various celebrity guest stars who “died” at the start and I think one
was John Belushi. Did not air because he died for real (I think they only aired a few episodes anyway)

It was on Sat nights when a lot of people were out...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_Squad

>>Each episode would similarly play credits over a 1970s style freeze frame of the final scene, except that the frame was not frozen – the actors simply stood motionless in position while other activities (pouring coffee, convicts escaping, chimpanzees running amok) continued around them.

>>A sequence was filmed with John Belushi (chained to concrete blocks underwater) but the actor died shortly before the episode was due to air, and the producers decided not to use the scene. According to the Internet Movie Database the producers wanted to include the Belushi scene when Police Squad was rebroadcast in the 1990s, but the footage could not be located and is presumed lost


24 posted on 12/04/2010 3:15:28 PM PST by raccoonradio
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To: El Sordo

I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.


25 posted on 12/04/2010 3:23:43 PM PST by DownInFlames
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To: DownInFlames

“That’s right, I had the lasagna.” Leslie Nielsen RIP


26 posted on 12/04/2010 3:25:29 PM PST by cameraeye (A happy kufir!)
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To: EveningStar
"Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith."


Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

27 posted on 12/04/2010 3:26:06 PM PST by The Comedian (Government: Saving people from freedom since time immemorial.)
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To: raccoonradio

Don’t forget the photo of Chamberlain returning with “Peace in our time”.


28 posted on 12/04/2010 3:26:24 PM PST by ROTB (Sans Christian revival, we are government slaves, or nuked by China/Russia when we finally revolt.)
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To: El Sordo

please don’t call me shirley


29 posted on 12/04/2010 3:36:18 PM PST by billphx
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To: billphx
please don’t call me shirley

Roger!

30 posted on 12/04/2010 3:39:19 PM PST by windsorknot
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To: raccoonradio

>>There were various celebrity guest stars who “died” at the start and I think one
was John Belushi. Did not air because he died for real (I think they only aired a few episodes anyway)<<

The “special guest star” ALWAYS died in the opening scene. IIRC, the one with Shatner was really great because he avoided getting shot and what have you in an action scene, then died from poisoning.

They also always read a different title than the one displayed on the screen.


31 posted on 12/04/2010 3:39:39 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Lt. Drebin: Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.)
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To: EveningStar

Det. Nordberg (OJ Simpson): Drugs... drugs...
Frank (Nielsen): Nurse! Get this man some drugs! Can’t you see he’s in pain?
[nurse administers drugs]
Det. Nordberg: No... no...
[pulls Frank towards him]
Det. Nordberg: Heroin, Frank! Heroin...
Frank: Uh... that’s a pretty tall order, Nordberg. You’ll have to give me a couple of days on that one.


32 posted on 12/04/2010 3:39:45 PM PST by kerbear413 (Socialism breeds Mediocrity)
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To: windsorknot

Not Nielson’s quotes but a great comedic movie moment nonetheless:

Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is...
[showing his nametag]
Roger Murdock: ROGER MURDOCK. I’m an airline pilot.

Joey: I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense.

Joey: And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try... except during the playoffs.

Roger Murdock: The hell I don’t! LISTEN KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!!!


33 posted on 12/04/2010 3:41:56 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Lt. Drebin: Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.)
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To: EveningStar

“Oh, and one more thing... I faked every orgasm!” - Frank Drebin


34 posted on 12/04/2010 3:42:02 PM PST by dfwgator (Congratulations to Josh Hamilton - AL MVP)
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To: EveningStar

“I’m sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn’t that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?”


35 posted on 12/04/2010 3:43:06 PM PST by KingLudd
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To: EveningStar
Nice beaver!
36 posted on 12/04/2010 3:45:24 PM PST by the invisib1e hand (oy.)
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To: al baby
If I didn’t waste time congratulating myself I would have posted first...” What movie was that from ?

No movie, TV.

Get Smart: "Missed it by that much"

37 posted on 12/04/2010 3:51:32 PM PST by woofer
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To: the invisib1e hand

Thanks, I just had it stuffed...


38 posted on 12/04/2010 3:53:57 PM PST by null and void (We are now in day 682 of our national holiday from reality. - 0bama really isn't one of US.)
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To: Bean Counter
Having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go!

Personally, I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

39 posted on 12/04/2010 3:55:16 PM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Socialists are to economics what circle squarers are to math; undaunted by reason or derision.)
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To: freedumb2003
One scene I remember from the "Police Squad" TV show: Lt. Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) and Captain Hocken (Alan North) are interrogating a murder suspect. After the man insists several times that he was at the movies the previous night, and had nothing to do with the murder, the following exchange takes place:

Frank Drebin: "All right, let's say you were at the movies last night."

Drebin, Hocken and the suspect all turn towards the camera and, in unison, say: "You were at the movies last night."

Drebin: "and let's say you had nothing to do with the murder."

Again, all three turn towards the camera and say: "You had nothing to do with the murder."

40 posted on 12/04/2010 3:58:39 PM PST by GreenHornet
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