Posted on 09/24/2010 4:03:29 PM PDT by EveningStar
Dear Cecil:
My mother has always told me that the real way to spell relief is f-a-r-t. I have always been a person closely attuned to what is truly natural in myself and others and would appreciate an answer to a problem that has haunted me since childhood.
If gas pains are caused by intestinal gas, then how come I never feel better when I fart? All I ever feel is embarrassed.
Lauran P., Washington, D.C.
(Excerpt) Read more at straightdope.com ...
Yup, it's heading straight for the toilet.
always with the potty talk
You might talk to your doctor about the problem. I read once about an elderly lady named Naomi Johnson who went to her doctor to address a problem with flatulance.
She explained to the Doc that she had a problem with uncontrollable flatulance. Once every two or three minutes, she’d pass gas and could not help herself. While the farts were totally silent, they were quite obnoxiously smelly, and when she was in a social setting with some of her other elderly friends, they’d frown and move away from her whenever she starting passing gas.
The poor woman pleaded with the doctor to help her with the problem, pointing out that she had passed gas four times even during the four or five minutes she was discussing the problem with the doctor, which, she allowed, he had to have noticed due to the smell, even though they were completely silent.
“Can you help me with this embarrassing problem, doctor”, she asked?
The doctor leaned forward and keyed his receptionist on the intercom. “Ms. Samson, could you check Dr. McGee’s appointment schedule to see if she has any time available this afternoon?”
The patient asked, “What specialty is this Dr. McGee who you think might be able to help me with my flatulance.”
“Oh, I think I can help you with that problem. Some of the meds I have you on can sometimes contribute to excessive gas, and there are some dietary adjustments that our dietician should be able to advise you on which might also help. Dr. McGee is our audiologies. Ms. Johnson, I think we need to get your hearing checked.”
Lauren, it depends on how LOUD they are when you let 'em go ....
That is one the funniest things I’ve ever watched.
I mostly just let them rip no matter where I am.
If I’m in mixed company, and I think they are going to stink, I simply announce that “I’m gassy” first and then get on with it.
No biggie.
LOL, Robert Tilton.
I grew up in Dallas and remember this shuckster (and this video) well.
Good find.
Tootle,
I loved that book when I was a child!
Either that or just walk faster so you aren’t embarassed.
Yeah I'm just a real commode-ian.
We call that, “Crop Dusting.”
Almost nothing more enjoyable than setting someone up the bomb in the grocery store aisles. Even the wife, LMAO, I never see her move faster than when she enters the “fog” while I casually stroll away with the cart.
Beware the whispering tarantulas...
The farts that stink the worst are always silent.
ROTFLMAO!!
At least you aren’t a gasbag.
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