Posted on 06/10/2010 1:19:23 PM PDT by Miztiki
Please, if you have nothing positive to contribute then I beg you to refrain from commenting. I'm too sensitive right now for flippant remarks.
I wasn’t being flippant in any way.
How to pray the rosary - http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/rosary/how_to.htm
May God help you when the storms come...
I know its been mentioned, but a GOOD church would do wonders for your situation. I am currently trying to ‘socialize’ more myself. My church is begging for volunteers for everything from clerical to nursery. You volunteer on your time, so there is no conflict with your illness. You will not only form friendships, but connections that may prove to be invaluable in your situation. Maybe you can’t give of money...but you can give of time...
He helps me through them everytime. Thank You.
Hi there sweet lady !
I am late to the Dear Abby Party — LOL
but it seems you have gotten some tremendous advice here so far & I want to put a double check mark by the encouragement to find a church, close by & one with a sunday school class for middle age singles & /or other small groups.
You might check on line places nearby & call the ministers & tell him essentially the need you have (not dwelling on some of the other things).. A need for friends & companionship. Ask if they have singles groups/classes.. ask if any of the singles have pets.
You will find kind, good people & will find avenues for growth spiritually as you make new acquaintances.
I have a few friends with dogs & we do dog walks together often.. I have one girlfriend w/o dog & she misses hers(cant have in condo) & is my friend as well as my pets friend
where in Michigan are you? I have a single friend in Ann Arbor area with dog.. (female).. older but you might enjoy each other’s company. If you are nearby I can get your info etc.
Are you in a situation where you can get Thyroid & hormone balance checks done?
For many women I know that is an issue that results in lonliness & depression EVEN when surrounded by people
It sounds like you have a good handles on plus/negatives of your situation.
Have you been burned in a church situation in the past? Do you perhaps have some things in your past that you thnnk might come back to bite you in a church? (NOT wanting you to list them).. but to KNOW that people are very forgiving in a good Christian church & can be supportive of you as your try to get your life back in order.
Keep us posted..please?
This may be considered flip...but I’m serious, there are many good suggestions here and I would add this for anyone susceptible to depression...Stop watching GLEN BECK!
yes. I was about to google 5HTP
(I am a big BIG believer in natural,supplements etc)
You should Google it.
Read about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-Hydroxytryptophan
Buy it here:
http://www.swansonvitamins.com/NA180/ItemDetail?SourceCode=INTL405&CAWELAID=129498746
After I lost my job and subsequently my house, my family and my dog, I had a heart attack and then a minor stroke. At my age I could not rebound easily. Having lost everything that mattered to me, I started from scratch, living in a shelter then a room. I have a limp and drool a little bit. I kept my pride and charity or disability is not an option.
I started “networking” at a library, having met some senior folks seeking a tutor who would come to the retirement community and I make a couple bucks teaching computer skills to the elderly than can afford it and don’t mind an old “gimp”.
Every day I get myself to the library where I search the internet for possibilities/opportunities.
You seem intelligent and to have carefully thought out your options.
Starting over is a bitch but it can be done.
I wish you fortitude and God’s speed.
After I lost my job and subsequently my house, my family and my dog, I had a heart attack and then a minor stroke. At my age I could not rebound easily. Having lost everything that mattered to me, I started from scratch, living in a shelter then a room. I have a limp and drool a little bit. I kept my pride and charity or disability is not an option.
I started “networking” at a library, having met some senior folks seeking a tutor who would come to the retirement community and I make a couple bucks teaching computer skills to the elderly than can afford it and don’t mind an old “gimp”.
Every day I get myself to the library where I search the internet for possibilities/opportunities.
You seem intelligent and to have carefully thought out your options.
Starting over is a bitch but it can be done.
I wish you fortitude and God’s speed.
The thing that seems to be missing in all of this is a good group of friends. One of the best places I’ve found to meet folks is church. I was in a predicament many years ago where I could see absolutely no way out of my bad situation. During that time I started going to church (after years of not going), it was REALLY hard. That decision saved my life and sanity in so many ways - and put me on a path that I am still on and it has been incredible.
It took a while to find a good church - stay away from the clique-ish ones.
If that’s not your thing, there are other groups for retired people, bingo, or a club surrounding a hobby you might enjoy (gardening, etc). Or get involved in volunteering, a lot of people make lifelong friends through volunteer work.
good grief Dan...
God Bless you for crawling out of that hole..
Is your real name Job?
I have to echo lowbridge’s advice—if you have to give up one of those items on your list, rural life seems like the best one. I realize it’s tough giving that up, but in the situation you’re in, it seems like a more urban (or suburban) environment would help in many ways.
I live in what you might call a midtown area (not downtown, but not out in the suburbs) and there are a coffee shop, grocery store, drugstore, two parks and a library all within comfortable walking distance (not to mention both my doctor’s and dentist’s offices). You might find you don’t even need the car if you could find a good location. (I take great comfort in knowing that if I couldn’t drive or had to give up my car, I could still get to the places I need to.)
I’d also echo the advice about taking 5HTP. I bought it at Costco (pretty much on a whim, it was on sale) and it’s made a world of difference in my mood.
Good luck and hang in there!
I had to read a whole new batch of replies after sending out my last post, so I’m way behind here!
My problem is LONELINESS. As I said, I can go weeks without seeing another human being. I live alone in a house in the country which is different than living in town or a city or in an apartment. I don’t see people. I don’t talk to people. Anyone would be lonely under those circumstances. In fact, there are untold thousands of seniors and disabled folks who are miserably lonely right this second. We are social outcasts.
I have no choice but to change my situation, and I will make sure there are changes relatively soon. My concern is LOSING what I love in the process.
Some of you don’t understand these things, or life with severe chronic pain. I hope you are blessed with good health until your dying day, I really do, but you don’t understand and hopefully never will.
Now I have to go back to the top of the thread again, hang on...
Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement. The compliments on my writing were unexpected. It’s an idea I’d never considered, so thanks!
I’m going to answer some people privately but would like to answer a few questions openly real quick.
tired&retired, I’m in west Michigan. Ha! It’s actually a beautiful part of the country if you don’t need a job.
To answer several posts: I enjoy doing things for people. I know what is meant by “it’s better to be the helper than the helped” and “it’s better to give than to receive.” But I can’t do that when I don’t know any people. I do something for someone every time I leave the house, even if it’s just to hold open a door. I thrive on helping others, but I don’t know anyone to help.
I’ve come up with all sorts of ideas for meeting people. I even joined a senior dating site this morning. Maybe some old folks around here wouldn’t mind having a yung’un around for a cup of coffee.
I’ve been racking my brains for almost a year now on how I can meet people and make friends despite my limitations. Truth is, I’m a social outcast. “Oh, you’re disabled? Oh, you can’t go do this and that with me? Oh, you’re single? Oh, you don’t have kids? Oh, well that sucks. See you around!” and off they go. How many people like me do YOU have in YOUR life? Most people can’t be bothered, and that’s a simple fact.
There is Social Security Disability and Supplemental Security Income. All FReepers should know about these two programs cause they’re killing us! I get Social Security Disability. Social Security is for retired people. I’m retired - medically retired (meaning I’m done working), so I get Social Security Disability and Medicare, just like old people. Because I’m poor (was only 25 when I became disabled) I also get welfare: Medicaid and food stamps. I’m telling you this so that you understand the difference between programs that your tax dollars are paying for.
I’m only to post 49 and haven’t even checked my private messages yet, but I really need to take a nap for a while. I’ll have to PM people and stuff later. Thank you for the help (but keep it coming, I need ideas, and a virtual friend or two wouldn’t be so bad either.)
Where are you Miztiki?
If possible, I will come and visit you and be your friend. I live in Utah.
Saying a prayer for you right now.
Listen up people! My husband had fibromyalgia and through indepth investigation we found that it was caused by mineral deficiency (magnesium) and because of the deficiency it stressed his adrenals.
So, we both started taking high doses of mag (900mg) and guess what? His FM went away and MY depression/anxiety went away!!! I was on meds for YEARS and have been on the mag for over 3 years now and have not been on nor needed to be on anti depressants since.
I assure anyone here struggling with depression symptoms that if they get on a good mag (magnesium malate by Source Naturals—build up to 6 per day —2 at each meal) you will get relief.
Ask me any questions if need be.
You can live well and cheaply by becoming a full time RV resident. You would own your place and could have your pets. There are interesting people all around, coming and going. The space itself is only $499.00 a month which includes electricity and water. You can get wifi for another 15 dollars a month. You could basically be anywhere. We are in a place right now with a big lake. There are ducks and geese and frogs and turtles. You can fish, catch/release in the lake (huge pond maybe it is). There are rolling grassy knolls and a country feeling. The trash pick up is every day and you just toss a little bag out the door and they pick it up. There is ample room for cooking, etc. I have seen rigs which even have fireplaces and washer/dryer set ups. It is cheap enough living so that you could actually save up some money. I don’t even resonate with camping AT ALL, but I am loving living this way.
Here’s my two cents. And remember - you get what you pay for!
It sounds like you are in okay shape and condition to be able to cook, drive, keep a clean house, etc. But - the pay doesn’t meet expenses. And you are lonely.
Perhaps you could find someone in your area (an older couple or widow/ widower) perhaps that has a guest room that you can live in and you can cook and clean for them. Preferably someone that you can also be friendly with.
My aunt had such an arrangement and a couple of the gals were practically like daughters after awhile.
If you are in a rural area, the dogs and cats may not be a problem. Although they may be.
I love my dog and cat. And it would be real hard to part with them. But, they aren’t my best friends, and IMHO should not be thought of as best friends. And they certainly shouldn’t get in the way of human friendships and interaction. It is a lot easier to deal with a pet of course, but not as fullfilling.
And dittos on getting involved at church. Oh - and that whole prayer thing! Good luck.
Pound sand Freddd. It doesn’t add up because you’re ignorant of such things.
I have a bone disease. It’s hereditary. I don’t want to pass it on. Babies and kids are too heavy for me. They need significant effort - cooking, cleaning, laundry, playing, etc. I don’t think being a single mom would have been a good idea. It’s an extremely difficult decision I made, so you’re hitting a raw nerve there buddy.
I have 2 dogs, not 5 dogs. I don’t have to pick them up, so it’s not hard!
Yes, I can drive! Yes, I can sit in my chair and prepare meals, then sit on my kitchen stool at the stove and cook! And it tastes really good, too! Unbelievable, isn’t it? Preposterous even!
Please stay off this thread. You’re the opposite of helpful and I’m not in the mood.
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