Shut up, jerk.
;-)
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.
Posted on 06/10/2010 1:19:23 PM PDT by Miztiki
Please, if you have nothing positive to contribute then I beg you to refrain from commenting. I'm too sensitive right now for flippant remarks.
Try looking in the paper to see if there is someone else looking for a room mate. I don't know what kind of services you have in your area but there should be some place you could go to find out what there is available for you. Getting involved in outreach programs is a good way to get a support network going of people who are positive. You may find someone in a similar situation.
I had a series of very debilitating illnesses in my forties. Eventually, with the stress, I became clinically depressed as well. ( I was hospitalized for depression twice.)
When I started ruminating mentally on how certain things sucked in my life, it helped to STOP doing that. I took a moment to focus instead on how I felt. Was I sad? Angry? Lonely? unhappy? frustrated? etc. I took a moment to really **feel** those feelings. Surprisingly, when I would do that those ruminations would disappear and within a few minutes I really did feel significantly better.
I hope this helps. Unless a person has been through this they can’t understand what a walk through hell is like...and...there is NO escaping it.
It’s been 15 or more years now since this depression. Life is good now. I have learned compassion for others, and humility, though. As one friend said, “It was a million dollar experience that I wouldn’t give a nickle for”.
My advice, if you have to give up one of those things, give up the rural life. Considering your situation, that rural life sounds like the least important part. And as a disabled person, you'll probably find life alot more easier in more populated areas.
Comedian,
I don't care what they say about you, you are a decent fella.
Miztiki, following up what he said, I can't remember where I heard it but I recall someone challenging people to thank God for every little thing constantly from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. Thank God for this glass of water. Thank God for a clean counter. Thank God for clean sheets... whatever.
Also, regarding the writing idea; I agree, you are a good writer. Check out getafreelancer.com for small writing jobs. It can't hurt to at least look. You may find your niche. Look back at your life's experience where you may find a writing experience to build from.
Not meant to be flip at all ... but “situational depression” can often be a incorrect interpretation. You may be clinically depressed because of a chemical or spiritual inbalance, and that may either perpetuate your situational problems or cause you to overact to them.
Make a list of what you CAN do....start with the positive.
I concur with finding a church - those with small groups make for good friends.
Start taking some classes online. Set some personal goals, even small ones. Start a Facebook page. Go to the library. Take a cake decorating class (usually one hour or so for a couple weeks) or something similar, if you can’t make it you can’t, but the will to do something can overcome a lot. Learn to do medical coding - that’s a job that some people do from home.
Again, focus on what you can do.
You have the freedom to come as go as you want, but it does offer some assistance if you have certain things you cannot do well on your own. It sounds like you might qualify for financial assistance to live in such a facility. The ones I have visited are certainly not depressing environments. It gives folks the freedom to live as independently as they can but still have the personal assistance they may need for certain things. Would this be anything you might consider? I empathize with your experiencing depression. I have bouts of it myself at times. - OB1
My suggestions ...
(1) Church. Find one with a lot of events to keep you busy. Church is free, and full of good people who will keep you company and help you out. At the very least ... they meet once a week. If you get into a Bible study class, you’re looking at another time-or-two a week.
(2) Find a way to serve someone else. You will be surprised at how much helping others can relieve depression.
(3) As for money problems ... stop focusing on what you can’t do, and find out what you can do. People often defeat themselves with “can’t” before they even start. It is better to try and fail than to simply say you “can’t”.
Godspeed.
SnakeDoc
This might sound odd, but learn to set “yourself” aside long enough to look at your situation dispassionately, as another person who knows and cares about you might.
Break down your “to do’s” into small, manageable steps and rank them in importance.
Include in this list an effort to discover if a roommate and a house in the country that allows pets is workable. See about potential roommates that would be interested.
If you care about your pets and have no loving home for them in the meantime while you straighten your situation out, there are two choices. Give them up to a no-kill private shelter with a foster program, in which case you may not get them back but they’d be well cared for, or endure your current situation with the full knowledge that it’s temporary.
The depression and probable near panic attacks are coming from so many things coming at you at once. Above and beyond taking measured, obtainable steps leading to progress that will alleviate the pressure and confusion, there are things you can do to alleviate the “symptoms.”
Prayer. If you believe in God, get down on your knees, at your bedside or where ever you feel comfortable, and ask God to lift your burdens from you, ask for help and be specific, but be humble and sincere. Ask for peace, a quiet heart and a steady, calm mind. Ask for relief from depression and fear. Fear is not of God. You’ll be very surprised what sincere, specific prayer can lead to as far as solutions to the problems you experience.
Simple mental and biofeedback exercises for calm and relaxation. Lie back in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and envision a place where you feel happy and relaxed. A beach, a beautiful lake view, just brilliant blue sky with white fluffy clouds, whatever gets you there. Visualize your “scene” and breathe slowly and deeply, inhaling and exhaling fully. When you’ve reached this stage, envision relaxing every single muscle in your body, and actually think about that and relax every muscle. Do this, with steady, easy, deep breathing, in your beautiful, safe place, for as long as it takes to obtain a feeling of calm centeredness.
Get outside and get some sun. Sunlight does wonders for depression. Get up and get busy, or if you’re unable at least get up and around a little, get out into the world if you can, break your routine and go do something fun but cheap, like a museum or a park.
These things should help, they helped me through a personally difficult time.
I get a whopping $800/mo from Social Security for medical retirement, plus food stamps.
I have an ex-husband who pays my rent, heat, car, phone, internet, and most importantly, my pets that I love with all my heart; my only family. Sounds great, eh?
I am glad your rent, heat , car , phone, internet and your most important pets, are taken care of.
And quite frankly...you are a lot better off than many. Some don’t have a check, food stamps or a home, even a roof over their heads, no phone and no internet, some are living in tents, or a car or under bridges, with children... TRY COUNTING YOUR BLESSINGS IT OFSETS WHINING. You could thank the rest of us for your $800 a month.
“Social Security for Medical Retirement” is probably SSDI.
SnakeDoc
I would be in exactly your same situation if I didn’t find a good church. A good church IS your family, especially if you don’t have natural relatives. You will spend eternity with them.
Search until you find one, and when you think you have found it, don’t wait for the people there to reach out to you. Reach out to them, volunteer. Attend the bible studies. I am also on disability, so I volunteer - that way I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t make a commitment. I teach homeschool teens difficult subjects that their parents need help tackling. Every church has a “prayer team”. Volunteer for that. Other than getting there, it requires no physical work on your part. I have a pain disorder, I can’t help at the potlucks and such.
You would be amazed at how volunteering at a prayer team puts you in touch with people. Plus the constant contact with prayer and other’s needs will lift you up.
Are nyou disabled Freddd? I assume by the condescending tone that you have a disability similar to hers and have overcome it. Is that true?
I don’t know what the price is for accepting your ex’s generosity as you said he is out of state...and its quite obvious you can’t improve your situation without his help at least for now. I would suggest that you focus on the pets who depend on you and what you can do to help & protect them. Hopefully where you live there are charities and church groups and social services who are willing and able to help you. Same with organizations helping abused women and children. Sitting alone and dwelling on what’s wrong only makes your life worse, real or imagined, but please concentrate on reaching out for help. You seemed to have come up with a few ideas and now you need to implement them. There is no reason why you should be forced to give up your pets and make that your top priority. Until you have a plan in place, don’t make it worse for yourself and your pets by cutting yourself off from the ex’s help.
Lastly, I am not a religious person, but praying really works..what you pray for will happen, maybe not today or tomorrow, but when its suppose to.
Shut up, jerk.
;-)
It SS disability, she paid into it and this is what it’s for. If you don’t think it should exist, another thread might be a better place for you to discuss this.
St John’s Wart and comedy, be it TV or a book are relatively cheap. Good luck and just ignore the occasional clod who just has to interject when asked not to.
Double down on every point that SnakeDoc made. He has it nailed to the wall.
To add point 4 to Doc’s list:
4. You must do exactly, to the letter, as your doctor says, meds and all. The medications that you are taking are probably very good but you have to take them consistently.
I spent most of my life thinking that I couldn’t do things but after spending a few years in a good church I found that many had done those things. I started acting with a great deal more confidence and it changed my life 180 degrees. Hard to even describe the change. From introvert to extrovert would be a good start, but it goes deeper than that.
Church is the key. Love of Jesus and His Father is the Way.
Good luck.
You may not be able to go or you may already be involved... but I suggest a good church. You can find many that are great I’m sure. I started going to a Lutheran Church and have really enjoyed the service and all more than ever.
Just a suggestion.
SSDI in the amount you receive plus food stamps is enough to live on in my community.
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