"You aren't getting 'nuff rabies in your diet. Eat two bats an' call me in the morning..."
Posted on 06/08/2010 4:46:06 AM PDT by SilvieWaldorfMD
Just when you thought a medical degree meant something, Ozzy Osbourne is now “Dr. Ozzy.”
Crazy, that’s how it goes.
The former pill-popping, pot-smoking, cognac-swilling ant snorter who was hit by a plane, treated for rabies, committed to a mental hospital and declared legally dead twice has a new gig - health columnist for the Times of London.
What, Keith Richards wasn’t available?
Writes Dr. Ozzy:
“It makes perfect sense: I’ve seen literally thousands of doctors over my lifetime, and spent well over 1 million pounds on them, to the point where I sometimes think I know more about being a doctor than doctors do.”
Well, if former hooker Ashley Dupree can dole out dating advice in the New York Post, then why shouldn’t the Prince of Darkness write about prostate checkups?
And does he ever:
“I had my prostate checked just the other week ... and couldn’t believe how many blokes said to me: ‘Your prostate? What’s that?’ I was like: ‘Look, chicks get breast cancer, and blokes get cancer of the prostate.’ One guy even asked: ‘Where is it?’ I told him, ‘Up your arse,’ and he went: ‘How do they check that, then?’ I said: ‘How do you think? It starts with a rubber glove and ends with your voice rising 10 octaves ... So my first advice as Dr. Ozzy will be: Don’t be ignorant.”
(Excerpt) Read more at news.bostonherald.com ...
Music Ping — 1980s/Metal/Hollyweird Ping.
Could the next Surgeon General of the U.S. be Richard Simmons in a Nurse Costume?..
Considering how he’s abused himself and is still breathing, there might be some merit to this...
Anything could happen under this current administration...
ON an unrelated note, I have a promo flyer for the show where Ozzy bit the head off the bat.
This bleepen bleep bleeper can bleep a bleepen bleeper and cure bleepen bleep to see bleepidy bleep bugger bleep what a bloke.
FYI - of interest.
“Suicide Solution”
The amazing thing is that someone actually understood what he was saying and could right it down.
Or the press may be making those coherent statements up.
I never understood that. When he sings you can generally make out his words, but when he talks it’s all gibberish.
I sometimes wonder how much of the mumbling is an act.
"You aren't getting 'nuff rabies in your diet. Eat two bats an' call me in the morning..."
Don't know. Bob Dylan's mumbling seems to be a put on. He DOES speak and sing clearly sometimes.
"Everything tastes better with rabies! Yay, rabies!"
A Heavy Metal WTF Ping!
Ozzy has a speech impediment, and that goes back to before he fried a few brain cells. On top of that his first language is Brummie.
He has always given useful advice. “Wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker.”
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