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***ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd***
Posted on 01/08/2010 4:41:24 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Already, 2010 seems to be shaping up to be a hilarious year. To keep the amusement flowing, I have found the following list of the ten funniest New Year's resolutions I have heard for the coming new year:
#1: I will balance my checkbook on my nose.

#2: Farmville on FaceBook will stop becoming a chore.
#3: I will obstain from updating my status on social networking sites every second...no one cares

#4: I will think of a new password, other than the word 'password'.

#5: I will not reply "lol" when I hear a funny joke.

#6: I will always....always check for paper, when leaving the bathroom.

#7: I will work with neglected children......my own.

#8: I will start buying my lottery tickets at a luckier place.
#9: I will try to figure out why I need 10 email addresses.

#10: I won't yell at so many inanimate objects

TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2010; newyearsresolutions; ofst; silliness
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To: Pan_Yan
101
posted on
01/08/2010 11:37:35 AM PST
by
Pan_Yan
To: Yorlik803
“””””Also, what do you all do to keep from going crazy being cooped up in the house?””””””
During Hurricane Hugo in 1989 there was no power around here for weeks. There was a new generation of kids that are now 20 years old known as Hugo Babies.
So, to answer your question... “what do you all do to keep from going crazy being cooped up in the house?”
BOW CHICKA BOW BOW!!!!!!!
102
posted on
01/08/2010 11:46:20 AM PST
by
envisio
(The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.)
To: Yorlik803
I think it is dumb luck with the pipes, well that, and portable heaters that just keep the chill off. The electric company is going to love me this month.
I work so I have to get out of the house (hubby just lost his job the beginning of Dec)and I have my computer right next to a huge window that gets plenty of sunlight.
BTW it warmed up to a balmy -20, I may have to get my bikini out :)
103
posted on
01/08/2010 11:47:43 AM PST
by
momto6
To: envisio
And the bonus to that is it keeps you warm too.
104
posted on
01/08/2010 11:48:40 AM PST
by
momto6
To: momto6
You have sunlight? We havent seen the sun for weeks. It is like being in the Ice age.
Good luck to your hubby in the job search. The only shovel ready jobs are the ones with snow shovels.
105
posted on
01/08/2010 11:52:32 AM PST
by
Yorlik803
(better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
To: envisio
Ok...beats playing checkers...
106
posted on
01/08/2010 11:55:17 AM PST
by
Yorlik803
(better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
To: momto6
Yeah but I never could figure out what to do with the other 23hours and 59minutes left in the day.
107
posted on
01/08/2010 11:58:55 AM PST
by
envisio
(The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.)
To: Sax
108
posted on
01/08/2010 12:49:44 PM PST
by
Daffynition
(What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
To: Lady Jag
109
posted on
01/08/2010 12:56:42 PM PST
by
Daffynition
(What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
To: red-dawg
They are
supposed to use Border Collies!
110
posted on
01/08/2010 1:03:38 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Double your income. Fire the government)
To: Yorlik803
Oooh it is beautiful here, you will freeze your ganoodles off but it IS gorgeous.
111
posted on
01/08/2010 1:05:11 PM PST
by
momto6
To: OnTheDress
A hunting party is on safari in the darkest jungles of Africa when they come upon an unmapped village of natives
The place is unique, to say the least. All the villagers speak English but with a distinct BBC type accent.
The safari's leader meets with the village elder and asks him how they all came to speak English.
"Oh quite simple, old chap", replies the elder. "Many years ago a British war plane crashed here. All that worked was the radio. We monitored the 'Beeb' and patterned our language and culture after what we heard. In fact, my dear man, today we are holding a murder trial. You and your lads might find it interesting to attend!"
All in the safari are intrigued so they attend. True to form, the trial looks like any they had seen in England, complete with the powdered wigs on the barristers.
There was one exception, however. Every once and awhile, a semi naked woman would run through the court, waving her arms and making a commotion.
When the trial ended, the safari leader complimented the elder at how justice had been carried out, in fine English form. "However, sir. There is one question we have. What was the 1/2 naked woman's role? This is like nothing we've seen in the UK".
"Again, quite regular, old cock.", replies the elder. "When there was news of a trial on the BBC, there was often mention of a little titter running through the court".
112
posted on
01/08/2010 1:05:42 PM PST
by
llevrok
(Drink your beer, damnit. There are sober people in Africa!)
To: Daffynition
The same toy being brought home from Ikea:
113
posted on
01/08/2010 1:06:12 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Double your income. Fire the government)
To: envisio
114
posted on
01/08/2010 1:11:13 PM PST
by
momto6
To: Daffynition; Slings and Arrows; maggief; martin_fierro; Spotsy; Smartass; Happy2BMe; Allegra; ...
Did you hear about the new movie about Tiger Woods?
115
posted on
01/08/2010 1:15:11 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Double your income. Fire the government)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lady Jag
I love decorating with IKEA junque.
117
posted on
01/08/2010 1:22:46 PM PST
by
Daffynition
(What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
To: Lady Jag
HAHAHA ...that's destined to become a ..................
118
posted on
01/08/2010 1:25:34 PM PST
by
Daffynition
(What's all this about hellfire and Dalmatians?)
To: Daffynition
As you make obvious, Ikea products all need a little TCL . . . and glue.

119
posted on
01/08/2010 1:28:48 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Double your income. Fire the government)
To: Daffynition
120
posted on
01/08/2010 1:51:45 PM PST
by
Eaker
(Where I'm from, "Gang Colors" is Realtree and Mossy Oak. You know what I'm saying hoss. Rule.308.)
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