Posted on 12/04/2009 12:38:12 PM PST by VA Voter
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Tiger’s wife set a record. The first time she swung a golf club she went to first on the money list.
Puting the Wood to ‘em takes on a whole new meaning.
Golf Rules by Tiger Woods
#1 - Before you ‘hit it’, make sure you’re playing the correct course.
#2 - Be careful who you let handle your balls.
#3 - Don’t ever play the wrong hole.
#4 - Sometimes it’s best to leave the ‘driver’ in the bag.
#5 - Individual stroke play is usually the better choice.
#6 - It takes more then an improved thought process to correct problems with a hooker
#7 - When your balls go out of bounds, expect painful penalty shots
#8 - Be careful!! Stiff shafts can lead to erratic play which then leads to poor decision making.
#9 - Never brag about a ‘good score’. It may come back to haunt you.
#10-The importance of a good lie can not be underestimated.
Gong til later
What’s Elin’s favorite magazine?
Tiger Beat
“Sir, this is OnStar, are you alright?”
“No! I just friggin’ crashed my car! My friggin’ wife is chasing me with my friggin’ 9 iron. She wants to friggin’ knock my head off because I friggin’ cheated on her with some friggin’ cocktail waitress!!!”
“Don’t worry Sir, help is on the way. Just play unconcious, don’t talk to the cops and we’ll have Kobe’s Lawyer on the line with you within a few minutes..”
BUMP
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?
Santa stopped at three hos.
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